About ridder215 : Who lived in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
Who died in an oil spill because of BP? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
I agree, your life sucks (73966) - you deserved it (15170)
On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59111) - you deserved it (31009)
On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81389) - you deserved it (15221)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19054) - you deserved it (68832)
On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97806) - you deserved it (8097)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60528) - you deserved it (8249)
On 05/02/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by systeminitiated (man) - Canada
Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31204) - you deserved it (100891)
On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14012) - you deserved it (38974)
On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (182905) - you deserved it (61938)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7084) - you deserved it (33821)
On 02/10/2009 at 12:59am - misc - by Tennisplayer (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3737) - you deserved it (54399)
On 02/03/2009 at 5:56pm - misc - by WestboroBC (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5285) - you deserved it (29260)
On 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm - animals - by jf29 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17375) - you deserved it (1811)
On 01/28/2009 at 8:38am - misc - by razzmataz - United States (California)
Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31084) - you deserved it (6969)
On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)
Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14373) - you deserved it (1261)
On 01/23/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by raybandy - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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