About ridder215 : Who lived in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
Who died in an oil spill because of BP? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
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Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17936) - you deserved it (61042)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53013) - you deserved it (2692)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I got shoved into a wall and pickpocketed. I was already in a bad mood from being dumped, so I chased the guy, tackled him so hard he was knocked out. As I retrieved my things, the police arrested me and apparently the robber was the cop's son, and didn't believe my statement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52221) - you deserved it (2206)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:14am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40019) - you deserved it (4930)
On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9645) - you deserved it (57193)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with her sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she says, "Ha! Sucker!" She didn't look so cute anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37126) - you deserved it (5304)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45902) - you deserved it (15273)
On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78464) - you deserved it (18449)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39043) - you deserved it (20648)
On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50865) - you deserved it (21110)
On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38366) - you deserved it (3886)
On 07/22/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by PokeTheBear (man) - Canada
Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36041) - you deserved it (20368)
On 07/11/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by jadakorn (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4976) - you deserved it (37988)
On 07/11/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Name (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I come home to find my nephew holding pieces of my new $3,500 Sony Video Camera. He told me he threw it out the window because it was a portal for aliens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42383) - you deserved it (2786)
On 07/06/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by AidenFromSweden (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened windows explorer repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42037) - you deserved it (5074)
On 07/01/2009 at 5:37am - work - by Robert (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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