Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ribbons

Search for a member

ribbons
  • Town/Country : Belgium
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 May 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 691
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About ribbons : FMLs: procrastination fodder forever and all time!

ribbons's last visitors

zeriously95ThomasBombadilChokoboltturtles4lifeOwlfarm612MisterCrossobsololTrollxRubbarDuckieKidkaplanbirdierising

ribbons's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of ribbons's badges

ribbons's favorite FMLs

Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML

#20116490
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16463) - you deserved it (7413)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21033) - you deserved it (3806)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25632) - you deserved it (4522)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

#20106106
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17592) - you deserved it (1100)

On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)

Today, at work, my boss asked me why I wasn't adhering to proper dress code. I pointed out that skinny jeans are in the dress code, to which he replied, "Only if you're skinny." FML

#20102886
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19196) - you deserved it (10801)

On 10/05/2012 at 12:40pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML

#20072649
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32447) - you deserved it (1697)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast". That is not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

#20072637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17083) - you deserved it (1474)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:07am - health - by Leashaness (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML

#20045388
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24804) - you deserved it (1473)

On 08/27/2012 at 10:57pm - misc - by spekledworf - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22111) - you deserved it (2535)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

#19668387
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18732) - you deserved it (4098)

On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32587) - you deserved it (2059) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, my dad found out that there is a free, 24 hour, 7 days a week religious channel. Now that's all he watches. FML

#19439898
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18640) - you deserved it (1752)

On 04/09/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by awwman - United States

Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML

#19218186
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23672) - you deserved it (2187)

On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - work - by cero_kewl - United States

Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML

#18868671
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21648) - you deserved it (7746)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Russian Federation

Today, I took my car to a drive-through car wash. It wasn't until after my back seat was filled with foam and I had been squirted in the face that I realized my back seat window was rolled down. FML

#18812717
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6741) - you deserved it (30307)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: