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Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23106) - you deserved it (2157)
On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - work - by cero_kewl - United States
Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19346) - you deserved it (6310)
On 01/21/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Russian Federation
Today, I took my car to a drive-through car wash. It wasn't until after my back seat was filled with foam and I had been squirted in the face that I realized my back seat window was rolled down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5562) - you deserved it (22305)
On 01/15/2012 at 4:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25790) - you deserved it (2019)
On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25790) - you deserved it (2019)
On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my boyfriend insisted that the dog stay in our bedroom while we had sex. He said it would prove his dominance, and "show the dog who's boss." My boyfriend needs to prove his self-worth to an animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26492) - you deserved it (3334)
On 12/10/2011 at 2:23am - intimacy - by HBC - United States (Texas)
Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29747) - you deserved it (3719)
On 12/04/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38627) - you deserved it (2062)
On 11/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by bizzyizzy0121 - United States
Today, I got a letter of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud, obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs neighbor, and I have to stop. I'm small and hardly weigh anything, but it seems that if I want to keep my lease, I'll have to master the art of levitating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20761) - you deserved it (2038)
On 11/18/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9944) - you deserved it (15932)
On 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm - health - by wheezy (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24710) - you deserved it (2529)
On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23626) - you deserved it (1738)
On 08/16/2011 at 8:05pm - kids - by Awesome (woman) - Russian Federation
Today, my mother resolved to never visit McDonald's again. Not because of ethics or health concerns, but because they charged her for extra barbecue sauce. She bitched out the man in the drive-through for a good five minutes, while I sat awkwardly in the passenger's seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21900) - you deserved it (2146)
On 07/07/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by AgentFreshers (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34742) - you deserved it (1941)
On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)
Today, I asked my daughter what time it was. She stared at the clock for several seconds before muttering, "I don't know". She's 14 years old and on the honour roll, and yet she can't tell the time on an analogue clock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20910) - you deserved it (8449)
On 07/01/2011 at 7:12pm - kids - by sadmother (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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