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Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15189) - you deserved it (1077)
On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States
Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28284) - you deserved it (2714)
On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15652) - you deserved it (2845)
On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States
Today, I have three cracked ribs. I have also, for the first time in my life, developed a case of the hiccups that simply will NOT go away. It's been hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18793) - you deserved it (830)
On 11/30/2012 at 2:30am - health - by Atletic - United States (New York)
Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19591) - you deserved it (1044)
On 11/28/2012 at 6:04pm - love - by some things never change (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23684) - you deserved it (1980)
On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5955) - you deserved it (18037)
On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20949) - you deserved it (944)
On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)
Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7085) - you deserved it (29842)
On 11/15/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20466) - you deserved it (4790)
On 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Argentina (Buenos Aires)
Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14844) - you deserved it (1194)
On 11/04/2012 at 2:28am - misc - by Chuffy (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16525) - you deserved it (1616)
On 11/02/2012 at 1:53am - work - by whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21010) - you deserved it (2130)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17249) - you deserved it (3561)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I found a ticket on my motorcycle for not parking in a designated spot. The space I had parked my bike in was occupied by a large van. Some asshole had moved my bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20959) - you deserved it (1681)
Monday 17 June 2013
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