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ribbons

Offline (the 07/25/2014 at 11:09am) | Search for a member

ribbons

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 May 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1105
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About ribbons : FML moderation: procrastination fodder for ever - and all time!

I make a face like my avatar *every* time someone doesn't capitalize proper nouns or use apostrophes in an otherwise hilarious submission. STOP BREAKING MY HEART!

ribbons's page activity

Visits<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 3:04am<b>Coachjoost79</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 2:07pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 5:00pm<b>ThomasBombadil</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 8:43pm<b>Chokobolt</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 3:58pm<b>turtles4life</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 3:51pm<b>Owlfarm612</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 8:58pm<b>obsolol</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 4:44am<b>JokerJim2013</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 3:20pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 2:06pm<b>RubbarDuckie</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 7:42am<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 8:26pm<b>birdierising</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 5:27pm<b>ohjoy15</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 8:59pm<b>DarkJediLove</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 10:08am<b>LittlestPrincess</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 7:00am<b>crimsonlover4</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 5:54pm<b>Casper19</b> - the 01/14/2013 at 10:25am

ribbons's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of ribbons's badges

ribbons's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40371) - you deserved it (16904)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

#21118643
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48337) - you deserved it (7042)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

#21108356
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42929) - you deserved it (3244)

On 04/09/2014 at 8:37am - misc - by not_this_shit_again (man) - Singapore

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

#21093947
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41260) - you deserved it (4658)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my unemployed husband has his own web-comic, that he makes money off it, and that it mainly involves the main character's airhead, money-grubbing wife ruining his life. She looks strikingly like me and shares my name. FML

#21088136
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39429) - you deserved it (6435)

On 03/16/2014 at 1:53pm - love - by cumbucket cops (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

#21078597
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65047) - you deserved it (5121)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

#21069920
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34951) - you deserved it (3281)

On 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm - misc - by DIY560 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42802) - you deserved it (5436)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML

#21067583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46027) - you deserved it (5309)

On 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49035) - you deserved it (3950)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

#21061796
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38724) - you deserved it (8528)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I jack off "real weird." FML

#20957730
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45779) - you deserved it (14646)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by jack s.b. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

#20545240
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43535) - you deserved it (5362)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)

Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML

#20484368
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33551) - you deserved it (2399)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:48am - misc - by thegirlofthedad (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30164) - you deserved it (14508)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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