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reptarroars's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
reptarroars's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML
by h4rdy / 03/09/2012 at 11:55am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML
by Anonymous / 03/07/2012 at 1:29am / United States / Health
Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML
by BOOP / 02/17/2012 at 8:25am / United States (Montana) / Transportation
Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML
by Anonymous / 02/07/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by joy / 02/07/2012 at 12:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by zobara / 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm / Switzerland / Money
by MCMB33 / 01/31/2012 at 7:59pm / United States / Health
by LogicalMolly / 12/13/2011 at 12:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by StaplerScared / 11/08/2011 at 9:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by HaHa Not Funny / 08/02/2011 at 12:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I got in my sister's car outside the movie theater and started talking about the movie. When I realized she wasn't saying anything, I looked up to see my ex-boyfriend sitting in the drivers seat. I got in the wrong car. FML
by sucks4me / 06/18/2011 at 12:45am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I went for an operation. Only to walk out with my gallbladder still there and the news I am… Today, my best friend, who just got his drivers license, convinced me to take my dads brand new car… Today, my cat has gotten more birthday wishes on Facebook than I got on my birthday 3 weeks ago. FML