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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19653) - you deserved it (35901)
On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26906) - you deserved it (4554)
On 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Haley. - United States (Arizona)
Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8031) - you deserved it (26489)
On 02/26/2010 at 6:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12058) - you deserved it (3458)
On 01/09/2010 at 8:25am - intimacy - by ohdeargodthatswrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11529) - you deserved it (3437)
On 01/08/2010 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he tried to put his hand inside my pants. I didn't want it to be that easy so I denied, but he insisted a lot and I finally let him. He started to sing "We Are The Champions." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6186) - you deserved it (11214)
On 12/29/2009 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by queen (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)
Today, I told my husband that while he was away I had had a miscarriage. His response? "If you can't take care of our baby while it is still inside you, how can I trust you to take care of it when it comes out?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25851) - you deserved it (1891)
On 12/14/2009 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by sadsadlady (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching the Terminator on T.V. A commercial came on in the middle of the movie. We just started having sex when the movie came back on he said "I'll be back." in the Arnold Schwartzenegger accent and rolled over to watch the movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10651) - you deserved it (2551)
On 12/11/2009 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Tee (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I got a call from my girlfriend of 13 months. She told me that she had gotten chlamydia from the guy she cheated on me with, and that I most likely have it too. I gave her a diamond ring, she gave me chlamydia. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18861) - you deserved it (1540)
On 12/10/2009 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by Godi (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I woke up in my best guy friend's bed to the sound of him jerking off. As I laid there motionless with my back to him, he reached around me to grab a tissue. I don't think I can ever speak to him again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12225) - you deserved it (2661)
On 12/09/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by dfkjhregoiuberiug (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse die while secretly watching porn right when your mom walks in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6674) - you deserved it (16691)
On 11/28/2009 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by nickyy (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (111857) - you deserved it (8897)
On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17750) - you deserved it (175263)
On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (252682) - you deserved it (34074)
On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (324642) - you deserved it (25670)
On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)
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