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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 21 April 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 447
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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renewed's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25054) - you deserved it (49130)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

#9407867
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34423) - you deserved it (5885)

On 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Haley. - United States (Arizona)

Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML

#8658890
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10309) - you deserved it (37374)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

#7232950
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19280) - you deserved it (5163)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:25am - intimacy - by ohdeargodthatswrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

#7225857
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18127) - you deserved it (5078)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he tried to put his hand inside my pants. I didn't want it to be that easy so I denied, but he insisted a lot and I finally let him. He started to sing "We Are The Champions." FML

#7020893
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9104) - you deserved it (19426)

On 12/29/2009 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by queen (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)

Today, I told my husband that while he was away I had had a miscarriage. His response? "If you can't take care of our baby while it is still inside you, how can I trust you to take care of it when it comes out?" FML

#6752846
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36065) - you deserved it (2928)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by sadsadlady (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching the Terminator on T.V. A commercial came on in the middle of the movie. We just started having sex when the movie came back on he said "I'll be back." in the Arnold Schwartzenegger accent and rolled over to watch the movie. FML

#6705813
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17119) - you deserved it (3822)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Tee (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a call from my girlfriend of 13 months. She told me that she had gotten chlamydia from the guy she cheated on me with, and that I most likely have it too. I gave her a diamond ring, she gave me chlamydia. FML

#6694429
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27386) - you deserved it (2372)

On 12/10/2009 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by Godi (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up in my best guy friend's bed to the sound of him jerking off. As I laid there motionless with my back to him, he reached around me to grab a tissue. I don't think I can ever speak to him again. FML

#6676757
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19878) - you deserved it (4058)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by dfkjhregoiuberiug (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse die while secretly watching porn right when your mom walks in. FML

#6501664
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9272) - you deserved it (26441)

On 11/28/2009 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by nickyy (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176566) - you deserved it (18049)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

#2804463
821 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32557) - you deserved it (299930)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (411921) - you deserved it (67078)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (478660) - you deserved it (45939)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)



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