relaxfreak

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relaxfreak

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 June 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 384
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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relaxfreak's page activity

Visits<b>Fennex3</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 12:27am<b>rawr_ily96</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 12:03am<b>kjoseph98</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 10:06pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 6:21am<b>Almiesaur</b> - the 12/30/2010 at 9:41pm

relaxfreak's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

relaxfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2010 at 5:28pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea for me to talk with a British accent during my job interview to make me sound smarter. I'm applying for a job at McDonald's. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2010 at 10:37am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

by Wisconsin love / 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML

by badteacher / 10/24/2010 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

by seriously / 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

by kiki / 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

by Embarressed... / 08/04/2010 at 6:25am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

by Wawawiwa / 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm / Namibia (Windhoek) / Intimacy

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2009 at 3:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

by ohmy / 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada / Animals