redreynard

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redreynard

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 June 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1777
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About redreynard : P.

redreynard's page activity

Visits<b>Jkalia</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 1:45pm<b>mlia_usually</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 7:23pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 2:16am<b>jamjam276</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 11:36am<b>Dalboz</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Mistyphoenix</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 9:25am<b>raesos91</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:03pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 5:38pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:00pm<b>WHERESTHEBOMB</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 2:21pm<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 4:35am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 6:40am<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 2:53am<b>melons</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 7:45pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 11:23pm<b>Narttu</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 8:35am<b>katwohrls</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 5:37pm<b>DJLag</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 3:29pm

Fucked!<b>junjunbun</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 8:16am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:38pm

redreynard's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of redreynard's badges

redreynard's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

by swedishdude / 11/14/2009 at 8:37am / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML

by neuroticallyours / 11/12/2009 at 2:11am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

by Brian / 10/26/2009 at 12:25am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2009 at 1:22am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was enjoying some "alone time" with the detachable shower head when someone flushed the toilet, causing the cold water to run out and badly scald my genitals. It hurts to walk. FML

by ravestradamus / 10/12/2009 at 8:34am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

by auscop / 09/17/2009 at 6:57am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML

by fedexed / 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, I learned that the four girls who I assumed were my girlfriends' good friends and whom she was always talking about were actually characters from the television show, "Sex and the City." My girlfriend has fictional friends. FML

by tubedout / 07/23/2009 at 3:16pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML

by Person / 06/07/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

by ailat0107 / 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while arriving at my best friend's wedding, I accidentally ran over her 2 dogs. FML

by lfssecond / 05/30/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (Connecticut) / Animals

Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 3:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous