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redreynard

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redreynard
  • Town/Country : Las Vegas, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 June 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 756
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About redreynard : P.

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redreynard's favorite FMLs

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26892) - you deserved it (8841)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24598) - you deserved it (4850)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31979) - you deserved it (13542)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML

#18742973
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32398) - you deserved it (10001)

On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

#18433358
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13666) - you deserved it (42541)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:41am - money - by Christina - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

#18244836
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (3011)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:37am - work - by metallifreak44 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

#18240312
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12790) - you deserved it (21718)

On 11/13/2011 at 7:11pm - misc - by ThatHurts (man) - Canada

Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML

#17856112
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27777) - you deserved it (3437)

On 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Unluckiest Guy of the group (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18838) - you deserved it (42232)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31367) - you deserved it (3516)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

#17543334
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15316) - you deserved it (30247)

On 08/21/2011 at 11:44pm - intimacy - by datingmrpicky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML

#17384491
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26479) - you deserved it (7947)

On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48860) - you deserved it (9568)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8168) - you deserved it (53878)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24363) - you deserved it (3977)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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