redreynard

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redreynard

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 June 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1762
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About redreynard : P.

redreynard's page activity

Visits<b>Jkalia</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 1:45pm<b>mlia_usually</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 7:23pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 2:16am<b>jamjam276</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 11:36am<b>Dalboz</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Mistyphoenix</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 9:25am<b>raesos91</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:03pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 5:38pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:00pm<b>WHERESTHEBOMB</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 2:21pm<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 4:35am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 6:40am<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 2:53am<b>melons</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 7:45pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 11:23pm<b>Narttu</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 8:35am<b>katwohrls</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 5:37pm<b>DJLag</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 3:29pm

Fucked!<b>junjunbun</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 8:16am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 11:38pm

redreynard's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of redreynard's badges

redreynard's favorite FMLs

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 6:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

by Chouse / 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML

by SLAB_GIRL15 / 08/01/2012 at 3:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 3:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML

by bob / 07/03/2012 at 1:33pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

by anonymus / 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

by rongo12 / 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous