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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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redheadregect

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redheadregect
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 316
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About redheadregect : Get the fuck off my profile pervert!

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redheadregect's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the face of Billy, the puppet from Saw, staring down at me. I was so scared, I wet myself instantly. It was my cousin in a mask, who is staying over for Thanksgiving weekend. FML

#13978188 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (18202) - you deserved it (4154)

On 11/25/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

#13841741 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (37878) - you deserved it (1612)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

#13718140 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (20758) - you deserved it (6285)

On 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML

#13558964 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (21715) - you deserved it (3996)

On 10/23/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (29815) - you deserved it (6024)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML

#13439536 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (16044) - you deserved it (10065)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#13401139 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (20361) - you deserved it (3335)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:34am - love - by JLD - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tried to jump between the train doors to make it in on time. And missed. FML

#13391537 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (7956) - you deserved it (15038)

On 10/10/2010 at 11:16am - misc - by Icey_dan1 - Sent from mobile version

Today, we were playing a game at work where whenever someone is in the washroom, we throw a 2 inch lug nut at the door because it makes a huge bang and scares whoever is in there. I was just opening the door to exit when someone threw the nut. It hit me in the face. FML

#13383261 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (7615) - you deserved it (15272)

On 10/09/2010 at 8:57pm - health - by PunctureWound - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

#13363773 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (20308) - you deserved it (4559)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML

#13353894 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (31467) - you deserved it (3119)

On 10/07/2010 at 10:26am - love - by Vinny1017 - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML

#13352571 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (32515) - you deserved it (1945)

On 10/07/2010 at 6:10am - love - by Alex - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my car was stolen. I got it back later without the engine, any of the wheels or my brand new radio and speakers. They even took my car mats. FML

#13323289 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (19090) - you deserved it (1387)

On 10/04/2010 at 10:39pm - misc - by Ro (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835 (363)

I agree, your life sucks (13021) - you deserved it (28891)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a bad cut on my dominant hand while at work. My boss decided to order me to juice lemons... all 300 of them. FML

#13223944 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (21360) - you deserved it (1791)

On 09/27/2010 at 5:06pm - work - by FoxyManicLiar - Sent from mobile version