About redfox452 : Want to know, ask
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13318) - you deserved it (26087)
On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23772) - you deserved it (4596)
On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States
Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25357) - you deserved it (3098) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33894) - you deserved it (6998)
On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26838) - you deserved it (1568)
On 01/19/2013 at 3:38pm - misc - by sophietr8 (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)
Today, while sledding with my daughter, I tried getting her to go down a steeper slope than she's used to. She was worried she'd crash, so I went first to show her how it's done. I lost control halfway down the hill, bailed, and rolled into a tree. My wife has it on video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18821) - you deserved it (9131)
On 01/19/2013 at 1:39pm - misc - by Fluffydemise - United States
Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14001) - you deserved it (23547)
On 01/12/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nean83 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34457) - you deserved it (3682)
On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24843) - you deserved it (4788)
On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33936) - you deserved it (3978)
On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13407) - you deserved it (19482)
On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22165) - you deserved it (17327)
On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30017) - you deserved it (2655)
On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17412) - you deserved it (1019)
On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7071) - you deserved it (29722)
On 11/15/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Friday 24 May 2013
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