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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, a man came up to me at the bus stop. He went into this long story about how his girlfriend is pregnant and they both haven't eaten in days. Trying to be tough and funny I said back, "sounds like you should invest in condoms instead of food." He responded by beating and robbing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16622) - you deserved it (60214)
On 06/12/2009 at 4:45pm - money - by beatenbyabum (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my band had a show. We played a love song, and during the bridge, I ask out a friend of mine who was in the crowd, over the mic, in front of at least 200 people. She said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40254) - you deserved it (13787)
On 06/12/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by Guitar-ZERO - United States (Connecticut)
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (102527) - you deserved it (6141)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to a family dinner. While waiting to be seated, a guy walked by and I looked to see if he was hot. Then my grandma yelled, "Get your eyeballs back in your head and quit staring at boys!" The whole restaurant heard her. Including the guy. And yes, he was hot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38657) - you deserved it (5564)
On 06/12/2009 at 9:46am - love - by embarrassment (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (175297) - you deserved it (9035)
On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76293) - you deserved it (9929)
On 05/01/2009 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by chelle (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83690) - you deserved it (11757)
On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house.I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father says "we know whose meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59196) - you deserved it (6838)
On 04/29/2009 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by ohmyx3 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (148061) - you deserved it (6076)
On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (115963) - you deserved it (4968)
On 04/17/2009 at 9:19pm - intimacy - by gringa_Peru (woman) - Peru (Lima)
Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (190594) - you deserved it (16617)
On 04/14/2009 at 11:21am - love - by hannah (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (445622) - you deserved it (30141)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57688) - you deserved it (15062)
On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (233319) - you deserved it (20086)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (101813) - you deserved it (9821)
On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
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