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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59494) - you deserved it (15534)
On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I saw the blueprints for my family's new house. My room is half the size of the room next to it. The room next to it is my step mom's walk-in closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (138744) - you deserved it (6070)
On 04/07/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Powerfool (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was fired for "customer dissatisfaction." I work in IT and have never met one of my company's customers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52112) - you deserved it (2818)
On 03/30/2009 at 12:13am - work - by beat10 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was fired for "customer dissatisfaction." I work in IT and have never met one of my company's customers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52112) - you deserved it (2818)
On 03/30/2009 at 12:13am - work - by beat10 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139826) - you deserved it (24748)
On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a co-worker and I walked out of our office at the same time. He got in his car, which was parked right out front. I asked him what I had to do to get a sweet parking spot like that. He rolled up his pant leg and show me his prosthesis. He was in the handicapped spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12480) - you deserved it (65776)
On 03/24/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Prometheus (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I came out to my mom. I had an epic speech planned, and when I tried to tell her, it all fell apart and I started crying and just said, "I'm gay." After a few seconds silence, my mom sighs and says, "Duh." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52315) - you deserved it (1616)
On 03/21/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by teriyaki124 - United States (California)
Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67287) - you deserved it (22309)
On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41793) - you deserved it (20435)
On 03/15/2009 at 12:20am - love - by Raw95 (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56448) - you deserved it (15782)
On 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm - misc - by poop - United States (Ohio)
Today, it was my final meeting with my psychologist who was helping me with my bipolar disorder. I just found out that he committed suicide. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98511) - you deserved it (3872)
On 03/06/2009 at 12:11pm - health - by drakx88 (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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