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About rattusrattus : 1. My name comes from the scientific name for the black rat.
2. It is not 'rat ass rat ass'. If I were to do that, it would be 'rat arse rat arse', in any case.
3. I wouldn't have to post this if someone else hadn't already made this mistake... *facepalm*
So, I'm a student, somewhat sarcastic and hopefully goodnatured most of the time.
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Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5795) - you deserved it (41632)
On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9421) - you deserved it (1015)
On 08/26/2011 at 2:29pm - animals - by James - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, my doctor asked for a urine sample. It's the first time I've tried to cup my own pee. Despite the fact that I'm a woman, I managed to aim wrong, and sprayed the floor, hit the door and my handbag with my own pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14055) - you deserved it (9647)
On 08/26/2011 at 5:09am - health - by goldengirl - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after waiting 3 months, I finally got my wedding dress back from the dry-cleaners. The dry cleaning lasted longer than the marriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26236) - you deserved it (5870)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:28am - love - by justmyluck - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24445) - you deserved it (2726)
On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23875) - you deserved it (2071)
On 08/25/2011 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26236) - you deserved it (1663)
On 08/25/2011 at 1:26am - intimacy - by InAnAwkwardSituation - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my mother-in-law is house hunting in my town. There is a house for sale 2 doors down from me. In her price range. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22482) - you deserved it (1341)
On 08/25/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by momma6126 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5939) - you deserved it (13929)
On 08/24/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by josie345 - United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24713) - you deserved it (3753)
On 08/24/2011 at 7:34am - love - by fmlTGOD - United States
Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23253) - you deserved it (1843)
On 08/24/2011 at 4:03am - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28559) - you deserved it (2194)
On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)
Today, I noticed that a picture of me on my Mum and Dad's wall looked different. On closer inspection, I realised they'd recently painted over my teeth with white paint. I asked them why, and they said they looked 'discoloured'. It's my wedding photo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18866) - you deserved it (2164)
Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22970) - you deserved it (1679)
On 08/18/2011 at 4:45am - work - by Academia (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)
Today, I was dancing with the 4 hottest girls I've ever seen at a club, and I fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23291) - you deserved it (5663)
On 08/18/2011 at 1:18am - health - by gb - Australia (New South Wales)
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