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rasengan1544's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
rasengan1544's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML
by Anonymous / 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by thecathater / 07/09/2013 at 9:35am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML
by richardmrcs / 07/08/2013 at 4:00pm / United Kingdom (Bradford) / Animals
by Erica / 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Love
by PerfectTiming / 07/08/2013 at 7:19am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by roseland / 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by hamburger / 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by BlueB / 07/06/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 1:35pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I woke up at my cousin's house after staying the night. I went into the bathroom like I usually do and shut the door. Apparently the door lock on this bathroom doesn't function properly. I discovered this when my 4-year-old cousin walked in on me putting a tampon in. FML
by amanderpthepanda / 07/03/2013 at 1:21pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML
by grammarnazi-forareason / 07/03/2013 at 2:48am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Work
Today, I took my girlfriend of nearly 2 years out to dinner so I could propose. When the waiter brought the check, I caused a bit of a scene to get everyone's attention. When I got on my knee and proposed, she said no and asked if I could hurry up and pay, because she was embarrassed. FML
by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 4:26pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was eating an ice cream cone, when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML
by SillyScotsman / 06/24/2013 at 2:49pm / United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire) / Health
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…