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Today, feeling angry at the world, I threw a bottle, that had been clearly marked to be recycled, into a garbage can as an act of defiance. Minutes later, I guiltily retreated and spent the next few minutes with my entire arm stuck up the stinking ass of a city garbage can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3736) - you deserved it (20700)
On 09/12/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17344) - you deserved it (2273)
On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out. Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl, who then said, "Mine". I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car and they drove off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23119) - you deserved it (4181)
On 09/12/2012 at 4:52am - kids - by Bitchjackedmyball - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6266) - you deserved it (19540)
On 09/12/2012 at 1:40am - misc - by hahagirl (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5529) - you deserved it (13462)
On 09/12/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by brianfantana32 - United States (Washington)
Today, while I was leaving the grocery store, I realized my ignition key was missing from my pocket. After searching the car and retracing my steps, I walked all the way home. Later, when we went to retrieve the car, the key was sitting in plain sight on the passenger seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4136) - you deserved it (11769)
On 09/11/2012 at 4:41pm - misc - by stadams1024 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11872) - you deserved it (1329)
On 09/11/2012 at 2:47am - misc - by NotDrunk (man) - United States (California)
Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17035) - you deserved it (1816)
On 09/11/2012 at 12:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I spent five minutes sitting in my car, panicking and tearing my purse apart because I couldn't find my keys. I then found them. They were in the ignition, and the car was running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4710) - you deserved it (17222)
On 09/10/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by mrs14 - United States
Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15807) - you deserved it (1709)
On 09/10/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by CaptainSaveAHoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14499) - you deserved it (5243)
On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States
Today, I was cycling with my uncle and became increasingly frustrated as we got further and further from our intended destination. It took me a while to figure out that I had somehow lost my uncle and was following a complete stranger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7109) - you deserved it (13593)
On 09/10/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18632) - you deserved it (1250)
On 09/09/2012 at 8:39pm - work - by darawbs - United States
Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14126) - you deserved it (1262)
On 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5459) - you deserved it (13923)
On 09/09/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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