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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38813) - you deserved it (1328)
On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I chaperoned a school dance. A song I knew came on, and, wanting to be the fun teacher, I danced around a little. The students then pointed and laughed. I graduated in '87 and high school still hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15244) - you deserved it (4026)
On 10/04/2012 at 10:44pm - work - by highschoolsucks - United States
Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21728) - you deserved it (2077)
On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States
Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21688) - you deserved it (1543)
On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest to impress them, she told me that they came up with a nickname for me. My new name is "Matt the Doormat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11934) - you deserved it (1795)
On 09/25/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by oreoblizzard619 (man) - United States
Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11146) - you deserved it (19316)
On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States
Today, one of my regulars approached me at work, arms extended for a hug. He's always in a bad mood, so I figured for once he wasn't grumpy and I enthusiastically hugged him. Turns out he was just stretching his arms. He told me I was crazy and pretty much ran out of my store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11797) - you deserved it (3266)
On 09/24/2012 at 8:52pm - work - by MLAA (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17812) - you deserved it (1455)
On 09/24/2012 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I realized how lonely I am when I got excited over receiving my daily weather update from the Weather Channel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10893) - you deserved it (1761)
On 09/24/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by mstar - United States
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15541) - you deserved it (8255)
On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12701) - you deserved it (941)
On 09/20/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by Emily - United States (California)
Today, I realized just how bad my 28-year-old husband's gamer rage is when I came home to a smashed TV. This is the second TV in three months that he's destroyed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14808) - you deserved it (2677)
On 09/20/2012 at 8:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I went to my dentist of four years. After the cleaning, the hygienist and I scheduled my next appointment, and she briefly left the room, leaving my file open on the computer. The data in a field called "NOTE" caught my eye: "Sissy. Freak. Always late. Ask about family or will flirt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6244) - you deserved it (16003)
On 09/20/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18038) - you deserved it (3659)
On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15260) - you deserved it (1634)
On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)
Friday 24 May 2013
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