Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rasengan1544

Search for a member

rasengan1544

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2019
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

rasengan1544's page activity

Visits<b>DavidKnows</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 4:15pm<b>ImNachoFriend</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 9:57pm<b>Micayla</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 1:40am<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 4:25am<b>Mermhun</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 12:18pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 8:01pm<b>RodzillaX</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 5:49am<b>SerenaSerenadex3</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 12:03pm<b>GoingCommando93</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 12:08pm<b>Elfroid</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 6:19am<b>team_cookies</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 1:40pm<b>dontpanic</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 9:45am<b>CVTTRVN</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 5:16pm<b>baba01</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 7:03am<b>hannah__self</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 1:25pm<b>LazyDaisy42</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 4:54am<b>TatiLoves</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 3:55am<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 3:32am

rasengan1544's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of rasengan1544's badges

rasengan1544's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

#20649324
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40434) - you deserved it (5056)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I stressed out preparing for our one week holiday. We packed for the whole day, said goodbye to everyone and arrived at the airport quite exhausted after a 45-minute train ride. Turns out our flight isn't until tomorrow. The check-in lady couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20640490
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39366) - you deserved it (14793)

On 05/04/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by Tickettoride (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

#20640437
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44424) - you deserved it (10916)

On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

#20638599
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48388) - you deserved it (5167)

On 05/03/2013 at 7:32am - health - by poopydaddy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69885) - you deserved it (7855)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML

#20636616
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39409) - you deserved it (6155)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

#20636525
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27841) - you deserved it (50061)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States

Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML

#20636386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34770) - you deserved it (16132)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

#20634924
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27431) - you deserved it (53512)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML

#20634740
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37296) - you deserved it (8210)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53139) - you deserved it (4120)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20404) - you deserved it (69144)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

#20632794
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59277) - you deserved it (7739)

On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

#20632729
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56241) - you deserved it (14739)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

#20630400
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51719) - you deserved it (3538)

On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: