Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rasengan1544

Search for a member

rasengan1544

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2051
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

rasengan1544's page activity

Visits<b>DavidKnows</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 4:15pm<b>ImNachoFriend</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 9:57pm<b>Micayla</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 1:40am<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 4:25am<b>Mermhun</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 12:18pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 8:01pm<b>RodzillaX</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 5:49am<b>SerenaSerenadex3</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 12:03pm<b>GoingCommando93</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 12:08pm<b>Elfroid</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 6:19am<b>team_cookies</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 1:40pm<b>dontpanic</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 9:45am<b>CVTTRVN</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 5:16pm<b>baba01</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 7:03am<b>hannah__self</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 1:25pm<b>LazyDaisy42</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 4:54am<b>TatiLoves</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 3:55am<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 3:32am

rasengan1544's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of rasengan1544's badges

rasengan1544's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54375) - you deserved it (3409)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

#20827713
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47469) - you deserved it (17735)

On 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by fuck my arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

#20819762
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38271) - you deserved it (6339)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

#20815680
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42133) - you deserved it (8566)

On 08/01/2013 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML

#20807504
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44826) - you deserved it (4195)

On 07/28/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Mia (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

#20807393
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40286) - you deserved it (27229)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

#20807336
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46673) - you deserved it (3906)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:28am - animals - by mishyb (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML

#20804466
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52670) - you deserved it (17053)

On 07/26/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

#20804404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57403) - you deserved it (4906)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:09am - intimacy - by amiezingme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, one of my bosses said, "You're going to take this as an insult, but it's not. At a certain age, women are supposed to cut their hair short." I have long hair. My bosses have all of the social skills of the guys from Big Bang Theory. FML

#20798680
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36896) - you deserved it (3276)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:23am - work - by Irreverend (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56133) - you deserved it (11975)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I won an award for Employee of the Month. Shocked, I asked my boss if he'd gotten my name mixed up or something. He had. FML

#20797671
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43278) - you deserved it (9682)

On 07/22/2013 at 2:29pm - work - by FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML

#20797604
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51590) - you deserved it (3907)

On 07/22/2013 at 1:47pm - work - by nowimbroketoo (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I couldn't move without people talking to me about the "Royal Baby". It's like it's actually going to have an effect on my life. FML

#20797431
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41130) - you deserved it (5865)

On 07/22/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

#20793742
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52622) - you deserved it (8970)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:35am - work - by Dirty_Mind_69 (man) - United States (Louisiana)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: