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rasengan1544's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
rasengan1544's favorite FMLs
by The Corner Of Death / 08/12/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML
by fuck my arse / 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 1:29am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/01/2013 at 6:29pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Health
by Mia / 07/28/2013 at 2:18am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 12:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
by mishyb / 07/28/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML
by Anonymous / 07/26/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by amiezingme / 07/26/2013 at 9:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, one of my bosses said, "You're going to take this as an insult, but it's not. At a certain age, women are supposed to cut their hair short." I have long hair. My bosses have all of the social skills of the guys from Big Bang Theory. FML
by Irreverend / 07/23/2013 at 12:23am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML
by suckstosuck / 07/23/2013 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by FUCK / 07/22/2013 at 2:29pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by nowimbroketoo / 07/22/2013 at 1:47pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 11:58am / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML
by Dirty_Mind_69 / 07/20/2013 at 4:35am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
- Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my… Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand.… Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found…