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rasengan1544

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rasengan1544
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1361
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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rasengan1544's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom is convinced that my cat is the reincarnation of Vincent van Gogh. Why? He sleeps under my sunflowers and is a ginger tabby cat. FML

#20854246
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30728) - you deserved it (2484)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:16pm - animals - by KatVanGogh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML

#20854169
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34492) - you deserved it (2953)

On 08/25/2013 at 8:10pm - misc - by etgohome (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML

#20852134
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38105) - you deserved it (13674)

On 08/24/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by cpmolly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48006) - you deserved it (14209)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML

#20850902
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41197) - you deserved it (3222)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:21pm - misc - by fucking financial ruin (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my boyfriend that, due to my low self-confidence, all my bras are push-ups. He yelled, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" and stormed out. FML

#20850669
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40767) - you deserved it (9936)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27108) - you deserved it (37672)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

#20833620
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46055) - you deserved it (3107)

On 08/12/2013 at 11:24am - health - by nutfreak (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML

#20833570
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49793) - you deserved it (3713)

On 08/12/2013 at 10:30am - love - by iwearsilkgownstoeatwaffles (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49692) - you deserved it (2738)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

#20827713
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45746) - you deserved it (17107)

On 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by fuck my arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

#20819762
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35132) - you deserved it (5813)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

#20815680
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39904) - you deserved it (8232)

On 08/01/2013 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)



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