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Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31715) - you deserved it (3310)
On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States
Today, my identical twin sister got in trouble for sneaking out of the house to see her boyfriend. My father decided to ground both of us, because it would be "too confusing" for him otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51477) - you deserved it (3595)
On 05/05/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Monika (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43967) - you deserved it (37521)
On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18190) - you deserved it (9466)
On 12/22/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was in lying in bed with my boyfriend while he was asleep. He is going to school to be a doctor, and it appears that he says anatomical terms while asleep. My boyfriend can make me feel stupid in his sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10165) - you deserved it (18767)
On 10/24/2010 at 7:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my own butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14899) - you deserved it (21618)
On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I didn't realize until I was home that I'd thrown my retainer away with my tray at Chick-fil-A. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10565) - you deserved it (23007)
On 07/27/2010 at 6:15pm - money - by idgit42 (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56767) - you deserved it (6317)
On 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by weirdesout - United States (Texas)
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44330) - you deserved it (6224)
On 05/19/2010 at 8:12am - intimacy - by during - United States (Michigan)
Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19326) - you deserved it (1677)
On 02/14/2010 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my girlfriend asked me "is it in yet?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19219) - you deserved it (4376)
On 01/14/2010 at 9:06am - intimacy - by anun (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse die while secretly watching porn right when your mom walks in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7011) - you deserved it (17638)
On 11/28/2009 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by nickyy (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41135) - you deserved it (5067)
On 09/07/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Ballshurt (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (99589) - you deserved it (4151)
On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46996) - you deserved it (366)
On 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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