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Mobility
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Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29854) - you deserved it (5823)
On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22693) - you deserved it (4197)
On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend showed up at my grandmother's wake in torn jeans and a Family Guy t-shirt. When I took him aside asked him what the hell he was thinking, he lost his temper and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14249) - you deserved it (2478)
On 01/04/2013 at 5:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13093) - you deserved it (7009)
On 05/23/2012 at 5:38am - intimacy - by Fire0fisis (woman) - Hong Kong
Today, I was following my friend to her house in my car, because I didn't know where it was. I'd been following her for at least an hour when she pulled into a gas station. Turns out I'd been following the wrong car. I have no idea where I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23132) - you deserved it (8570)
On 11/12/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by friedchicken - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38768) - you deserved it (1898)
On 10/30/2011 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, on my way to a concert, some guy told me I had cool sunglasses. I was about to thank him until he punched me in the face. I woke up with no sunglasses and no ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27262) - you deserved it (2124)
On 09/18/2011 at 9:36am - misc - by incaseudidntkno - United States (Illinois)
Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18832) - you deserved it (1902)
On 09/16/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by Smart - United States
Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend had been encouraging me to send him 'personal' videos was so he could sell them online to porn websites. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39168) - you deserved it (13712)
On 06/13/2011 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by secretpornstar - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21689) - you deserved it (8346)
On 06/13/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by cycler - United States
Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28251) - you deserved it (5101)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39363) - you deserved it (9030)
On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17074) - you deserved it (48203)
On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5997) - you deserved it (53768)
On 05/27/2011 at 4:52pm - love - by nicole - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51249) - you deserved it (7804)
On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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