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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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randomusername
  • Town/Country : Boston, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4704
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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randomusername's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a promo code for a free Redbox movie. Since I knew exactly which movie I wanted, I parked in a handicapped space because it was super close and I was cold. I didn't think anyone would notice, but apparently the cop that parked beside my car did. My free movie cost me $100. FML

#7163163 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (3152) - you deserved it (46717)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:28pm - money - by handi-crap (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (22116) - you deserved it (6232)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother forwarded me an email my stepdad had sent her because he was annoyed that I left a light on last night. Talk about communication problems. I wonder how I'm going to tell them I'm pregnant. FML

#7121728 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (22120) - you deserved it (4021)

On 01/03/2010 at 5:36am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

#7036461 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (29028) - you deserved it (3041)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I dropped my camera down 4 flights of circular stairs from the top of a lighthouse. Everything worked, it just had a few dents. Then, as I went to put it in my pocket, I missed. It fell 3 feet and hit the floor. Now it won't turn on. FML

#6603639 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (19614) - you deserved it (10700)

On 12/04/2009 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML

#6348430 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (31534) - you deserved it (1100)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm - misc - by usmcgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (7584) - you deserved it (33651)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML

#6120564 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (26205) - you deserved it (3695)

On 11/02/2009 at 3:39pm - kids - by Chubby (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, it was my 17th birthday. I didn't want my family to spend money on a cake, so my dad made this delicious apple ring. At least, it was great until my mouth began to itch and my throat closed. I have been allergic to nuts since birth, and my dad put walnuts in my birthday cake. FML

#6114128 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (27208) - you deserved it (1486)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:12am - health - by UnluckyJulie (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I flew to see the guy that I've been in love with for 3 years. We spent the day at Walmart. To buy a plunger. After I blocked up the toilet. FML

#6110361 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (25104) - you deserved it (6720)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (8656) - you deserved it (31542)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow. He ended the conversation by saying "I'm changing my sheets tomorrow, so take a shower." FML

#5892198 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (11840) - you deserved it (3811)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Shower? - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

#5529870 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (33776) - you deserved it (2173)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

#4499384 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (57950) - you deserved it (5695)

On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

#4274462 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (39703) - you deserved it (5105)

On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)