random_ribbons

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random_ribbons

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2387
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About random_ribbons : I could very easily write an autobiography here, but to put it simply, just don't take me too seriously. If you listen to that rule, we'll get along fine.

random_ribbons's page activity

Visits<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 7:31pm<b>ptvbabe229</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 11:02pm<b>claudiajean</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 11:14pm<b>AnnPanda</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 10:06pm<b>pixierara</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:36pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 6:18pm<b>postoso</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:35pm<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 8:38pm<b>Suchawtie1</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 10:01am<b>kangarookie</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 6:49pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 4:19pm<b>Austin6112</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:17pm<b>StahpMaster</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 2:28am<b>Caps_hockey</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 6:21pm<b>lizziemo79</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:26pm<b>lennelleong</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 11:39pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 7:42pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 8:18pm

random_ribbons's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of random_ribbons's badges

random_ribbons's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

by magicman / 04/26/2011 at 12:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Money

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

by bham boy / 04/20/2011 at 4:10am / Work

Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got the courage to talk to a guy I secretly like. I was so nervous that instead of saying, "Hi, I'm Veronica," I said, "Veronica, I'm high." FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I opened a cupboard and a brick fell on my head. The same brick my mum put up there to "keep it out of the way". FML

by EllieJ / 03/23/2011 at 11:22am / Health

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

by Mike / 12/15/2010 at 6:57am / Work

Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

by Annonmyus / 12/03/2010 at 3:56am / Intimacy

Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2010 at 2:17pm / Israel (HaDarom) / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML

by Nobody / 10/17/2010 at 1:17pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

by blah blah daddy / 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, the elevator broke in my dorm and won't be fixed for several days. I live on the 26th floor. FML

by flimflam / 09/02/2010 at 1:39pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6-year-old cousin came to my door, demanding canned food. I asked him what for, and he said, "Dad said I needed them for a school project." I said all right, and he started raiding my pantry. I was left with only green beans. He stole all my Spaghetti O's. FML

by Stumble / 01/16/2010 at 11:43pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous