About random_ribbons : I could very easily write an autobiography here, but to put it simply, just don't take me too seriously. If you listen to that rule, we'll get along fine.
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random_ribbons's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML
by memoryloss / 12/04/2011 at 2:04am / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 10:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 9:09pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
by davidh5012 / 11/27/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous
by skinny dipper / 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Kate / 10/16/2011 at 10:50pm / United States / Work
by Alexandra / 09/20/2011 at 4:25am / Lebanon / Intimacy
Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML
by SoupCanoe / 08/29/2011 at 4:33am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Health
Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML
by Tinkerer / 08/21/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by jgdgjyfg / 07/25/2011 at 3:21am / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Health
by kacysospacyy / 07/15/2011 at 2:23pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/11/2011 at 9:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by wastedbaby / 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…