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random_ribbons

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1190
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About random_ribbons : I could very easily write an autobiography here, but to put it simply, just don't take me too seriously. If you listen to that rule, we'll get along fine.

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random_ribbons's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML

#18424721
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26766) - you deserved it (2383)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

#18388917
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5732) - you deserved it (64790)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML

#18387979
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22820) - you deserved it (4978)

On 11/29/2011 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML

#18367915
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26249) - you deserved it (2428)

On 11/27/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by davidh5012 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29867) - you deserved it (22215)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16932) - you deserved it (46101) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML

#18035123
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40047) - you deserved it (10602)

On 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by skinny dipper - United States (Washington)

Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML

#18002643
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13816) - you deserved it (19222)

On 10/16/2011 at 10:50pm - work - by Kate - United States

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

#17786349
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32673) - you deserved it (8319)

On 09/20/2011 at 4:25am - intimacy - by Alexandra (woman) - Lebanon

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36976) - you deserved it (3371)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML

#17535182
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38687) - you deserved it (3225)

On 08/21/2011 at 2:25am - love - by Tinkerer - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

#17250401
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32864) - you deserved it (8232)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his fifteen year old daughter, the dog. FML

#17122857
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30458) - you deserved it (4280)

On 07/15/2011 at 2:23pm - animals - by kacysospacyy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML

#17071540
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17290) - you deserved it (14956)

On 07/11/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML

#16966151
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41443) - you deserved it (3329)

On 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm - health - by wastedbaby - United States (South Carolina)



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