About random_ribbons : I could very easily write an autobiography here, but to put it simply, just don't take me too seriously. If you listen to that rule, we'll get along fine.
random_ribbons's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
random_ribbons's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML
by memoryloss / 12/04/2011 at 2:04am / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 10:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 9:09pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
by davidh5012 / 11/27/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous
by skinny dipper / 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Kate / 10/16/2011 at 10:50pm / United States / Work
by Alexandra / 09/20/2011 at 4:25am / Lebanon / Intimacy
Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML
by SoupCanoe / 08/29/2011 at 4:33am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Health
Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML
by Tinkerer / 08/21/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by jgdgjyfg / 07/25/2011 at 3:21am / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Health
by kacysospacyy / 07/15/2011 at 2:23pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/11/2011 at 9:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by wastedbaby / 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…