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random_ribbons
  • Town/Country : Pennsylvania, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 852
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About random_ribbons : I could very easily write an autobiography here, but to put it simply, just don't take me too seriously. If you listen to that rule, we'll get along fine.

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random_ribbons's favorite FMLs

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17606) - you deserved it (1848)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17606) - you deserved it (1848)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I learned that my roommate doesn't actually know a damn thing about cooking. I'm suffering the effects of him telling me that chicken is best eaten medium-rare. FML

#19404145
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16498) - you deserved it (10104)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Ralph - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

#19387601
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15715) - you deserved it (28879)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9554) - you deserved it (59514)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML

#19287473
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18917) - you deserved it (1623)

On 03/16/2012 at 5:02am - misc - by disgusted - United States

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23290) - you deserved it (6312)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27400) - you deserved it (17378)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25989) - you deserved it (5669)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

#19039187
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21749) - you deserved it (4915)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Jarryd - Australia

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

#18819143
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24912) - you deserved it (6034)

On 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm - love - by geeklove - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

#18540985
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13687) - you deserved it (36464)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Une Fille (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
182 comments

Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML

#18525865
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23360) - you deserved it (11562)

On 12/16/2011 at 4:08am - kids - by Oily (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8439) - you deserved it (39184)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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