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rairai's favorite FMLs
by Crying / 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Geek
by KittenNomNom / 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by sorrygrandma / 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML
by Username / 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 8:05am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML
by Username / 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy
by dumped / 06/05/2011 at 1:17am / United States (Utah) / Love
by longlostkid556 / 06/05/2011 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Love
by nomorexbox / 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm / United States (Georgia) / Geek
Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML
by Worried / 04/16/2011 at 6:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by fmyhabit / 04/15/2011 at 1:34am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
- Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the… Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I… Today, my mother worked out that my boyfriend and I are having sex. Instead of confronting me about…