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rairai's favorite FMLs
Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML
by iPhonekid / 05/27/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Crying / 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Geek
by KittenNomNom / 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by sorrygrandma / 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML
by Username / 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 8:05am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML
by Username / 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy
by dumped / 06/05/2011 at 1:17am / United States (Utah) / Love
by longlostkid556 / 06/05/2011 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Love
by nomorexbox / 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm / United States (Georgia) / Geek
Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML
by Worried / 04/16/2011 at 6:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- Today, our new landlords invited my fiance and I to dinner. After we ate we were offered dessert.… Today, is my first day of recovery in a full right arm cast. Broke it on the last possible free day… Today, my best friend, who just got his drivers license, convinced me to take my dads brand new car…