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rairai

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rairai
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 711
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rairai's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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rairai's favorite FMLs

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

#17906295
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29678) - you deserved it (8315)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22604) - you deserved it (3158)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29413) - you deserved it (8637)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36329) - you deserved it (10768)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30019) - you deserved it (10459)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

#16508942
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54790) - you deserved it (2835)

On 06/05/2011 at 1:17am - love - by dumped - United States (Utah)

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

#16507836
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43565) - you deserved it (4164)

On 06/05/2011 at 12:14am - love - by longlostkid556 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32995) - you deserved it (9367)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42273) - you deserved it (4478)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

#15804993
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32694) - you deserved it (4971)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

#15791690
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17271) - you deserved it (40428)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:34am - intimacy - by fmyhabit - United States (Utah)

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31877) - you deserved it (7661)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47597) - you deserved it (21395)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41844) - you deserved it (6429)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

#15381959
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41180) - you deserved it (6176)

On 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm - kids - by jaimie - United States (Florida)



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