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rainbowsorbet

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 7:57pm) | Search for a member

rainbowsorbet

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rainbowsorbet's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML

#20126556
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20953) - you deserved it (2679)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by tempted to become single (man) - United States (California)

Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML

#20117729
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19685) - you deserved it (2282)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:33am - misc - by triple l (woman) - United States

Today, I went to my dentist of four years. After the cleaning, the hygienist and I scheduled my next appointment, and she briefly left the room, leaving my file open on the computer. The data in a field called "NOTE" caught my eye: "Sissy. Freak. Always late. Ask about family or will flirt." FML

#20080189
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8321) - you deserved it (24149)

On 09/20/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

#20071176
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35964) - you deserved it (2279)

On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

#20058797
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25233) - you deserved it (2136)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my grandparents took me out for dinner for my birthday. After singing, "Happy birthday dear..." they froze. I had to say my own name because they'd forgotten it. FML

#20058422
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23928) - you deserved it (1535)

On 09/05/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by holymoly - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I attended my 10-year high school reunion. My ex-husband's new wife showed up in the same dress as mine. I guess both the dress and my ex-husband look better on her. FML

#20055300
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25594) - you deserved it (2137)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:17am - love - by ugly (woman) - United States

Today, my mom got a new puppy and named her Olivia. Which would be fine, if that wasn't the name I had been planning to give my baby, who's due in 3 weeks. Thanks mom. FML

#19983667
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26158) - you deserved it (2103)

On 07/25/2012 at 3:46pm - kids - by madmomma - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML

#19964000
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23304) - you deserved it (3107)

On 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm - love - by Taylor (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss fired me for "fooling around" on my phone. I was looking for supplies for a surprise party we are throwing him for his birthday, and I didn't want to do it on my work computer because he has access to our history. Also, this happened during my lunch break. FML

#19961879
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28356) - you deserved it (1524)

On 07/20/2012 at 12:58am - work - by are you kidding me???? - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a wet dream in the middle of an 8-hour-long airplane flight. FML

#19830472
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30820) - you deserved it (3860)

On 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Uncomfy (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22797) - you deserved it (15142)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42860) - you deserved it (3920)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML

#19803721
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28550) - you deserved it (5010)

On 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by turnedoff (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26972) - you deserved it (2825)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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