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rainbowsorbet

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rainbowsorbet

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rainbowsorbet's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51996) - you deserved it (16824)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned brood mare." FML

#21144074
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38864) - you deserved it (9262)

On 05/18/2014 at 3:14pm - misc - by Anonyname (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

Today, I found out that my restaurant's food is so bad that the only reason some people visit is because they're punishing their kids. FML

#20715456
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45410) - you deserved it (13545)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:38pm - work - by not the cook (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, days after I broke up with my girlfriend, my dad tried to make her feel better by inviting her to our family BBQ next weekend. FML

#20715362
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44206) - you deserved it (5060)

On 06/09/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML

#20684997
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76085) - you deserved it (4715)

On 05/25/2013 at 2:55am - love - by lizzie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML

#20678725
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42296) - you deserved it (2469)

On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML

#20658208
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59329) - you deserved it (8649)

On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States

Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML

#20658076
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57099) - you deserved it (3650)

On 05/12/2013 at 8:09am - misc - by lachaisse - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50472) - you deserved it (10843)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

#20583902
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47229) - you deserved it (5431)

On 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm - love - by drama king? (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML

#20559000
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32442) - you deserved it (10944)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

#20543142
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45416) - you deserved it (7964)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States

Today, I finally told my dad about how I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. He began to recite a commercial for depression meds, but he couldn't finish because he was overwhelmed with laughter. FML

#20537428
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31954) - you deserved it (3618)

On 03/09/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by depressed - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally told my dad about how I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. He began to recite a commercial for depression meds, but he couldn't finish because he was overwhelmed with laughter. FML

#20537428
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31954) - you deserved it (3618)

On 03/09/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by depressed - United States (Massachusetts)



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