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rainbowsorbet

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rainbowsorbet

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  • Number of visits : 890
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rainbowsorbet's page activity

Visits<b>midnight_tiger</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:21pm

rainbowsorbet's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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rainbowsorbet's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML

#21378520
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24815) - you deserved it (3988)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:43pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (315) - you deserved it (48594)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

#21369589
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35419) - you deserved it (2287)

On 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm faced with the prospect of having to defend my sister from a herd of very angry bronies. FML

#21368771
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24217) - you deserved it (2095)

On 03/05/2015 at 5:34pm - misc - by Why? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35740) - you deserved it (3704)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took my driving test. I was really nervous, but I thought I did pretty well in the end. That is until I parked the car and looked to the examiner. He was visibly shaken. He said I'd passed, quickly filled in the paperwork and left. On the downside, my car still smells of his shart. FML

#21339037
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31331) - you deserved it (3407)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by for shite's sake (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28834) - you deserved it (3452)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

#21294812
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18453) - you deserved it (34441)

On 11/08/2014 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents told me they don't think I'll ever find a boyfriend, and insist on referring to my future cats as their "grandkids". FML

#21289318
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31199) - you deserved it (3009)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:16pm - love - by really - United States

Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML

#21289257
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (2169)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually tried to justify his cheating by saying it doesn't count as cheating if the girl's bisexual. FML

#21288568
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34461) - you deserved it (2872)

On 10/30/2014 at 6:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37795) - you deserved it (10996)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37270) - you deserved it (4567)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48379) - you deserved it (3558)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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