raesos91

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Offline (the 08/09/2016 at 2:18am)

raesos91

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 December 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2016
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About raesos91 : married. led zep. pink floyd. mars volta. simpsons. bobs burgers. law & order. ff7. ff tactics. bioshock. ( . Y . ) & boobies. •to be a rock, & not a roll•

raesos91's page activity

Visits<b>chrisbeaudoin</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 4:18pm<b>Sampe101</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 2:33pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 12:39am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:18pm<b>ThatGuy622</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:45pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 11:29pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 12:19am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:58am<b>TPH1979</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:12am<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 11:59pm<b>idealricetokidz</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 9:01pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 6:42pm<b>alain4343</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 8:30am<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:42pm<b>xthexdemonx</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 10:25pm<b>edog809</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 7:11pm<b>LOLKing10001</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 11:31pm<b>thelochNess9</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:59pm

Fucked!<b>alain4343</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:30pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 10:12pm<b>NoName011</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 3:38pm

raesos91's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of raesos91's badges

raesos91's favorite FMLs

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Work

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

by roze198765 / 08/03/2011 at 9:19pm / United States / Animals

Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML

by Stacy / 07/05/2011 at 12:04am / United States / Work

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health

Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML

by esoog / 05/19/2011 at 1:38pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

by parentof5 / 04/23/2011 at 11:20am / United States / Kids

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 10:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2011 at 2:35am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, during dinner, my family had a discussion about the color of poop. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 12:50am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2011 at 1:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I found out that the woman I'm currently dating used to be a man. FML

by swindstorm / 12/06/2010 at 7:24am / Intimacy

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

by miiiiilk / 12/05/2010 at 6:12am / United States (California) / Intimacy