About raesos91 : married. led zep. pink floyd. mars volta. simpsons. bobs burgers. law & order. ff7. ff tactics. bioshock. ( . Y . ) & boobies. •to be a rock, & not a roll•
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I found out that the woman I'm currently dating used to be a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48938) - you deserved it (8395)
On 12/06/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by swindstorm -
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20364) - you deserved it (6814)
On 12/05/2010 at 6:12am - intimacy - by miiiiilk (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my own butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14869) - you deserved it (21582)
On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized that I hadn't shaved in so long that when the wind blew, the hairs on my legs moved in the breeze. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5536) - you deserved it (34171)
On 11/12/2009 at 6:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75022) - you deserved it (10602)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40097) - you deserved it (123071)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my husband and I decided to get a little frisky in bed. After we were done we lay spent on our bed then only to hear weird noises coming from our doorway. To our surprise not only had our daughter taken her first steps but has been watching and now making the noises as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43659) - you deserved it (22197)
On 06/09/2009 at 11:36am - intimacy - by PreciousIve - United States (New York)
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30588) - you deserved it (271334)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (67383) - you deserved it (17981)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199586) - you deserved it (58879)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (527018) - you deserved it (319662)
On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (185153) - you deserved it (21615)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I listened to my room mate having sex from 3 A.M. until 6 A.M. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34623) - you deserved it (8921)
On 02/12/2009 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by skipper - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
I agree, your life sucks (69028) - you deserved it (20086)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)
Today, my wife told me that if she had a penny for every time I had brought her to climax she'd have change for a nickel. We've been married for 16 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25287) - you deserved it (9908)
On 02/06/2009 at 5:09pm - misc - by phobopohobia (man) - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
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