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raesos91

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raesos91

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1201
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About raesos91 : married. led zep. pink floyd. mars volta. simpsons. bobs burgers. law & order. ff7. ff tactics. bioshock. ( . Y . ) & boobies. •to be a rock, & not a roll•

raesos91's page activity

Visits<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 10:30am<b>thelochNess9</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:59pm<b>DArthurVaderian</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:40pm<b>carlfirebolt</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 8:29am<b>Slasher2977</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:45am<b>ddeveshh</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 11:55pm<b>troller48</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 11:43pm<b>hannah_cheers</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Sara95</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 10:22pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 8:23pm<b>swanheart</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 5:25pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 6:06am<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 6:04am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 1:45am<b>ashleyrose465</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 1:19am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 12:35pm<b>NoName011</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 9:38am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 5:17pm

Fucked!<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:05am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 10:12pm<b>NoName011</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 3:38pm

raesos91's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of raesos91's badges

raesos91's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML

#16252216
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14083) - you deserved it (45561)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by esoog - United States (California)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73906) - you deserved it (16054)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

#15024554
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40035) - you deserved it (4326)

On 02/18/2011 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

#14866852
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19653) - you deserved it (27998)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

#14658044
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19069) - you deserved it (41807)

On 01/21/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that the woman I'm currently dating used to be a man. FML

#14105227
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55548) - you deserved it (9417)

On 12/06/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by swindstorm -

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

#14093222
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27885) - you deserved it (8883)

On 12/05/2010 at 6:12am - intimacy - by miiiiilk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

#12657778
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19003) - you deserved it (30225)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that I hadn't shaved in so long that when the wind blew, the hairs on my legs moved in the breeze. FML

#6270063
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8437) - you deserved it (46655)

On 11/12/2009 at 6:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88436) - you deserved it (14736)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband and I decided to get a little frisky in bed. After we were done we lay spent on our bed then only to hear weird noises coming from our doorway. To our surprise not only had our daughter taken her first steps but has been watching and now making the noises as well. FML

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79005) - you deserved it (24297)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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