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raesos91

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raesos91

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1257
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About raesos91 : married. led zep. pink floyd. mars volta. simpsons. bobs burgers. law & order. ff7. ff tactics. bioshock. ( . Y . ) & boobies. •to be a rock, & not a roll•

raesos91's page activity

Visits<b>alain4343</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 8:30am<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:42pm<b>xthexdemonx</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 10:25pm<b>edog809</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 7:11pm<b>LOLKing10001</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 11:31pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 10:30am<b>thelochNess9</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:59pm<b>DArthurVaderian</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:40pm<b>carlfirebolt</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 8:29am<b>Slasher2977</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:45am<b>ddeveshh</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 11:55pm<b>troller48</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 11:43pm<b>hannah_cheers</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 11:37pm<b>Sara95</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 10:22pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 8:23pm<b>swanheart</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 5:25pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 6:06am<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 6:04am

Fucked!<b>alain4343</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:05am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 10:12pm<b>NoName011</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 3:38pm

raesos91's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of raesos91's badges

raesos91's favorite FMLs

Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML

#16980115
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31978) - you deserved it (7601)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:04am - work - by Stacy - United States

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37817) - you deserved it (16386)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML

#16252216
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14092) - you deserved it (45577)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by esoog - United States (California)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

#15896791
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34771) - you deserved it (23713)

On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
698 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73965) - you deserved it (16057)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

#15024554
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40062) - you deserved it (4326)

On 02/18/2011 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, during dinner, my family had a discussion about the color of poop. FML

#14984577
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28552) - you deserved it (4352)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

#14866852
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19660) - you deserved it (28014)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

#14658044
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19082) - you deserved it (41835)

On 01/21/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that the woman I'm currently dating used to be a man. FML

#14105227
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58443) - you deserved it (9978)

On 12/06/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by swindstorm -

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

#14093222
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27902) - you deserved it (8886)

On 12/05/2010 at 6:12am - intimacy - by miiiiilk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

#12657778
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19020) - you deserved it (30232)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while playing poker, I lost a stack of money to somebody with the screen name "Poopface." FML

#8915112
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8363) - you deserved it (33470)

On 03/08/2010 at 7:08am - money - by prian (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that I hadn't shaved in so long that when the wind blew, the hairs on my legs moved in the breeze. FML

#6270063
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8447) - you deserved it (46684)

On 11/12/2009 at 6:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88490) - you deserved it (14743)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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