raesos91

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Offline (the 06/21/2016 at 10:01pm)

raesos91

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 December 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1759
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About raesos91 : married. led zep. pink floyd. mars volta. simpsons. bobs burgers. law & order. ff7. ff tactics. bioshock. ( . Y . ) & boobies. •to be a rock, & not a roll•

raesos91's page activity

Visits<b>Sampe101</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 2:33pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 12:39am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:18pm<b>ThatGuy622</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:45pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 11:29pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 12:19am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:58am<b>TPH1979</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:12am<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 11:59pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 4:03pm<b>idealricetokidz</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 9:01pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 6:42pm<b>alain4343</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 8:30am<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:42pm<b>xthexdemonx</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 10:25pm<b>edog809</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 7:11pm<b>LOLKing10001</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 11:31pm<b>thelochNess9</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:59pm

Fucked!<b>alain4343</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:05am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 10:12pm<b>NoName011</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 3:38pm

raesos91's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of raesos91's badges

raesos91's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

by Master Debater / 02/01/2013 at 6:05am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

by awkwardturtle / 01/25/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

by AnonCat / 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm / Iceland / Work

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

by WTFFAIL / 12/03/2012 at 12:06am / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

by Heather / 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

by shit.... / 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm / Malaysia (Selangor) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

by Obi1Shinobi / 10/30/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

by Medic / 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

by ktreens / 10/19/2012 at 12:06am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

by Mike / 10/16/2012 at 4:07am / United States / Kids

Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML

by raesos91 / 09/18/2012 at 7:56am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous