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raesos91

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raesos91
  • Town/Country : Tex-ass
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 December 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 527
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About raesos91 : married. led zep. pink floyd. mars volta. simpsons. bobs burgers. law & order. ff7. ff tactics. bioshock. ( . Y . ) & boobies. •to be a rock, & not a roll•

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raesos91's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of raesos91's badges

raesos91's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

#20123366
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7481) - you deserved it (20768)

On 10/19/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by ktreens (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23200) - you deserved it (2378)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML

#20077513
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21983) - you deserved it (2162)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:56am - misc - by raesos91 - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

#20062873
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33308) - you deserved it (1718)

On 09/08/2012 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21032) - you deserved it (4306)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22434) - you deserved it (3718)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my wife made my hand bleed by stabbing it with a fork. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

#19595631
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12851) - you deserved it (25993) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by Mouhahaa (man) - France

Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML

#19546385
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8606) - you deserved it (15995)

On 04/29/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26885) - you deserved it (8841)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33496) - you deserved it (5187)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

#19039141
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27512) - you deserved it (5934)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML

#18650275
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23941) - you deserved it (3545)

On 12/30/2011 at 1:35am - love - by wellthatsawkward (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16998) - you deserved it (73797)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

#18208389
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13719) - you deserved it (29661)

On 11/10/2011 at 6:40am - work - by copshop - United States (California)

Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get their insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML

#18091969
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11715) - you deserved it (30226)

On 10/27/2011 at 9:22pm - misc - by Benjamin - Canada (British Columbia)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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