Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

raesos91

Online | Search for a member

raesos91

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1299
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About raesos91 : married. led zep. pink floyd. mars volta. simpsons. bobs burgers. law & order. ff7. ff tactics. bioshock. ( . Y . ) & boobies. •to be a rock, & not a roll•

raesos91's page activity

Visits<b>ThatGuy622</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:45pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 11:29pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 12:19am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:58am<b>TPH1979</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:12am<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 11:59pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 4:03pm<b>idealricetokidz</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 9:01pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 6:42pm<b>alain4343</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 8:30am<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:42pm<b>xthexdemonx</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 10:25pm<b>edog809</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 7:11pm<b>LOLKing10001</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 11:31pm<b>thelochNess9</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:59pm<b>DArthurVaderian</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:40pm<b>carlfirebolt</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 8:29am<b>Slasher2977</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:45am

Fucked!<b>alain4343</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:05am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 10:12pm<b>NoName011</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 3:38pm

raesos91's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of raesos91's badges

raesos91's favorite FMLs

Today, I was attacked by a duck. I thought I was higher on the food chain than that. FML

Today, I had to serve an incredibly rude and irrationally angry customer, but I managed to keep my cool. When he finally went to leave with his purchase, I wished him a good day. He whirled around and yelled "I'll have whatever the fuck kind of day I want, bitch!" FML

#21453572
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26177) - you deserved it (1773)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:23pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife handed over most of our son's college fund, in cash, to an investment scammer going by the name "Herp A. Derpson". FML

#21453336
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (3076)

On 08/08/2015 at 12:02am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

#21450109
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16876) - you deserved it (27361)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, I accidentally hit my husband in the face. Not 2 minutes later, while laying in bed and trying to apologize, I accidentally kneed him in the balls. FML

Today, I started my day off with a relaxing cup of coffee, the morning paper, and the sound of my mother informing me I will be going to hell for being not believing in God. FML

#21417394
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26711) - you deserved it (5110)

On 05/29/2015 at 12:16am - misc - by idonthavereligion (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandmother yelled at me for driving erratically. I was "driving" in a video game. FML

Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML

#21397872
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30864) - you deserved it (5581)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

Today, for the nth time, my father reminded me that I should study things related to the "real" world, as if I was studying theology, astrology or something. I'm studying for a master's degree in physics. FML

#21346352
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27151) - you deserved it (2398)

On 01/29/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28612) - you deserved it (3350)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was formally diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive tendencies. My mom saw this as an excuse to make me clean the whole house top to bottom, because "Hey, you love to clean." FML

#20855277
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44766) - you deserved it (3620)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by ocdistheworst (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59408) - you deserved it (7023)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27876) - you deserved it (3213)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)



FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #17
  • It's here! Yep, time once more to delve into the darkest corners of the FML postbag and check out the stuff that never would've seen the light of day, had we not had a vicious streak in our brains. It's…

Tuesday 25 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: