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Today, I had my noise-canceling headphones on and a girl sitting next to me raised her glass at me. I thought she meant "cheers". So I did a "cheers" with her. When I drank my juice, it was only then did I realize that she was trying to tell me the flight attendant had mixed up our drinks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3347) - you totally deserved it (11245)
On 12/29/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by lala456 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I finally received a paycheck for the first time in six months. I celebrated by promptly falling down a flight of stairs and losing consciousness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13848) - you totally deserved it (2730)
On 11/23/2009 at 5:12pm - work - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8577) - you totally deserved it (16224)
On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - misc - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I asked my boss a simple question about a problem I was having with a project I am currently doing. He replied: ''You don't worry your sweet little ass about it babe". My boss is my girlfriend's father. Nice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17061) - you totally deserved it (1460)
On 11/18/2009 at 11:45am - work - by GiWi (man) - Ireland (Cork)
Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15350) - you totally deserved it (9696)
On 11/10/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by mhmohyeah (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23642) - you totally deserved it (1425)
On 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by PiaNO (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I found a letter in the postbox at my new flat which ran something along these lines of: "Hi. We're the gas company. You owe us £1229.79 and have 7 days to pay us. Lotsa love, dated 7th September." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19496) - you totally deserved it (2040)
On 10/04/2009 at 9:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27581) - you totally deserved it (2846)
On 09/12/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by taman (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I came home from a business trip, I walked in to the house to find my husband nowhere to be seen. I called out his name and he came round the corner saying "Coming baby." When he came through the door he said "Oh it's you..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39370) - you totally deserved it (1356)
On 08/30/2009 at 3:22am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my dad met my boyfriend. The first words out of my dad's mouth were "If my daughter sees your penis, I'll cut it off". FML
I agree, your life sucks (44379) - you totally deserved it (4608)
On 08/27/2009 at 6:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14436) - you totally deserved it (17651)
On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore
Today, I had my friend Mark over for dinner. My Dad asked him what his dad did for a living. We all squirmed a bit when he told us that his dad died last year. We all went about finishing our meal when suddenly my dad says: "I'm sorry, Mark, what did you say your dad did for a living again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35618) - you totally deserved it (1045)
On 08/25/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by youzabadgirl12 - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my little brother. He was looking at me and says "so cool." I asked him what was so cool and he says "it's not that cool but, your eyebrow connects to your other eyebrow". FML
I agree, your life sucks (20403) - you totally deserved it (7556)
On 08/23/2009 at 3:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43222) - you totally deserved it (2313)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8629) - you totally deserved it (42516)
On 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by ohhmydamn (woman) - United States (Alabama)
