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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11342) - you deserved it (25792)
On 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Bethany (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13371) - you deserved it (1381)
On 08/28/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by calivianya (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22641) - you deserved it (4097)
On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17423) - you deserved it (2120)
On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States
Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument which resulted in her begging for a divorce and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21686) - you deserved it (1541)
On 08/26/2012 at 10:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I'm so broke that I got buyer's remorse after buying a $2 bottle of pancake syrup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13261) - you deserved it (1409)
On 08/26/2012 at 5:05pm - money - by Tanuki_paws - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25279) - you deserved it (1985)
On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend and I went to the drive-in theater, planning to have some fun during the movie. We were pretty excited that no cars were parked near us. As soon as the movie started, a bus full of little kids pulled up next to us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14335) - you deserved it (5106)
On 08/26/2012 at 12:15am - love - by bummerdood (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, while I was at work, my wife sent me a few pictures of her in a new lingerie, to "spice up" my day. She didn't realize that I have iCloud turned on so I can share files with my colleagues. My boss and a dozen other employees received the same pictures. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9107) - you deserved it (14707)
On 08/25/2012 at 12:06pm - work - by Michael D. (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13436) - you deserved it (5974)
On 08/25/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14280) - you deserved it (1587)
On 08/24/2012 at 5:33am - animals - by murphy22 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4509) - you deserved it (51314)
On 08/23/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by TheBeautifulOne (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13134) - you deserved it (1099)
On 08/22/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by idontbleedfromthere (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18044) - you deserved it (2085) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22995) - you deserved it (1099)
On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 20 May 2013
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