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radiocaf's favorite FMLs

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46620) - you deserved it (4307)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized why I never hear my voice echoing when I sing to my boyfriend on Skype; he just mutes me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35504) - you deserved it (11199)

On 11/10/2014 at 4:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41530) - you deserved it (3186)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:24am - misc - by carless - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37800) - you deserved it (4629)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, while on the bus, a friendly-looking guy smiled at me, so I smiled back. He then pointed at my teeth and said, "You gonna get those fixed, or just keep them as a conversation starter?" FML

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55851) - you deserved it (6714)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58839) - you deserved it (4390)

On 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by betrayed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML


I agree, your life sucks (49726) - you deserved it (8989)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57699) - you deserved it (5733)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by fuck florida (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49077) - you deserved it (6945)

On 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by FMBs (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, a woman attempted to pickpocket me while trying to educate me about God. FML

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27293) - you deserved it (56178)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47009) - you deserved it (5622)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up on Christmas morning to find that a large cock and balls had been keyed into the windscreen of my car. My new, two-week-old car, which I will be paying off for the next four years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38305) - you deserved it (2947)

On 12/25/2013 at 7:45pm - money - by Sophies (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

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  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

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