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radiocaf

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radiocaf

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 5897
  • Number of comments : 226
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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radiocaf's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

#20869348
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49540) - you deserved it (4946)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm - love - by single again - United States (California)

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

#20868590
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50912) - you deserved it (2782)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:02am - animals - by GotMyBitchBack - United States (Ohio)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
526 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18807) - you deserved it (134647)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43284) - you deserved it (7358)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46052) - you deserved it (2998)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

#20859311
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55457) - you deserved it (6212)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56195) - you deserved it (4441)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

#20857818
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49827) - you deserved it (9295)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

#20856552
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46542) - you deserved it (11430)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by crier - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

#20856532
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35634) - you deserved it (18683)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:13pm - health - by anditburnsburnsburns - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

#20856004
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38044) - you deserved it (4230)

On 08/27/2013 at 12:36am - kids - by Parenting... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53241) - you deserved it (15785)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

Today, I told my boyfriend that, due to my low self-confidence, all my bras are push-ups. He yelled, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" and stormed out. FML

#20850669
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43718) - you deserved it (10892)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

#20847973
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50674) - you deserved it (6812)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)



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