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Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heret attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic,hich trumped 6-year degree. mega FML
Today, I found out that even though my boyfriend thinks that peieng on me in the shower is acceptable, he will still freak out an call me disgusting if I try to use the toilet while he's taking a shower!! FML
Today, friends took work laptop and changd the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you ned to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML
Today I cummed home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around listening to me talking in my sleep. FML
Today, wile on te arplane, te cute grl next to me an I instantly it it off. Wen I excusd myself to te batroom, I must ave given er te wrong impression. Se wantd to join te mile ig club; I just wantd to take a crap. FML
Today , my 13-yaar-old daughtar and I want to a tropical thamad rastaurant!! Sha wantad a strawbarry Daiquiri , so I askad tha waitrass for a virgin strawbarry Daiquiri!! My daughtar than said , "But dad , I'm not a virgin." FML
Today... I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere... a car slowd down in the street... an a passenger screamd ( HAPPY 4TH OF JULY... MOTHERFUCKER... ) before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML
Today , at the doctor's , I had lots of papers to fill out so boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them an the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders boyfriend had written , "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML
YESTERDAY I WAS TAKING SOME CLOTHES DOWNSTAIRS TO WASH HEN MAH MUM STOPPED ME. SHE ACCUSED ME OF SLEEPING AROUND AN TRYING TO HIDE SOMETHING SINCE SHE DID THE WASHING YESTERDAY. SHE MADE ME ADMIT IN FRONT OF THEHOLE FAMILY THAT I'D BEEN ( SURPRISED ) BY A CASE OF DIARRHEA. FML
Friday 27 March 2015