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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23952) - you deserved it (1335)
On 10/06/2012 at 3:49am - love - by BusinessTurtle - United States (Iowa)
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5856) - you deserved it (37502)
On 09/16/2012 at 11:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14656) - you deserved it (2390)
On 09/16/2012 at 9:46am - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23004) - you deserved it (4572)
On 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm - love - by hannah (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)
Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18363) - you deserved it (1974)
On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18363) - you deserved it (1974)
On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17342) - you deserved it (1853)
On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I spent five minutes sitting in my car, panicking and tearing my purse apart because I couldn't find my keys. I then found them. They were in the ignition, and the car was running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4710) - you deserved it (17218)
On 09/10/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by mrs14 - United States
Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15803) - you deserved it (1709)
On 09/10/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by CaptainSaveAHoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11335) - you deserved it (47418)
On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)
Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11721) - you deserved it (2335)
On 09/10/2012 at 8:48am - misc - by liquidknight - United States
Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18631) - you deserved it (1250)
On 09/09/2012 at 8:39pm - work - by darawbs - United States
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16817) - you deserved it (4080)
On 09/09/2012 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
I agree, your life sucks (16818) - you deserved it (3189)
On 09/09/2012 at 4:34am - love - by JB (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14068) - you deserved it (9237)
On 09/08/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by dating a fucking idiot (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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