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radiocaf's favorite FMLs
Today, I recently gave birth to my daughter, and my husband and I both have dark hair and bushy eyebrows. We never thought it was a problem until our daughter was born with a dark, bushy unibrow. Now I'm too nervous to take pictures of her 'cause our family and friends laugh every time they see her. FML
by bushy brows / 01/04/2016 at 6:13pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, I was in church. During the prayer, I moved my foot and it pressed against the automatic button on my umbrella causing it to suddenly open. As if that wasn't bad enough, I screamed simultaneously at the shock. FML
by embarrassed / 01/04/2016 at 12:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Xandriajoy10 / 01/04/2016 at 12:21am / Australia / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/03/2016 at 4:41am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
by Anonymous / 12/31/2015 at 5:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand. While my childhood friend was inside her. They apparently like pretending she's married while doing this. They made this self-discovery a week ago. Good for them. I don't want the ring back. FML
by CogadhTallon / 12/29/2015 at 9:11pm / United States / Intimacy
by BahHumbug / 12/27/2015 at 12:18am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally edged over the speed limit and got pulled over. The officer asked me if I knew why he'd pulled me over. Before I could say something diplomatic, my dad said from the passenger seat: "Because you're a prick in fancy dress?" I got ticketed. FML
by buttfingers / 12/26/2015 at 12:37pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 12:40am / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
by swimmonster81 / 12/25/2015 at 4:22pm / Money
Today, my brother "pranked" me by dropping my new laptop out my bedroom window. He'd set up a saran wrap safety net below to catch my laptop safely, but he didn't secure it well enough. My laptop is completely fucked and he won't accept responsibility because he didn't mean to break it. FML
by probably on death row soon / 12/25/2015 at 1:32pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/25/2015 at 12:08pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my dad let me fire one of his guns. This was a big deal because he rarely lets anyone so much as touch them. I was so excited, I forgot about about the recoil. Now I'm in the ER with a broken nose. FML
by oliversoden101 / 12/24/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML
by lolmyfduplife / 12/24/2015 at 1:10am / Animals