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radiocaf
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  • Number of visits : 2352
  • Number of comments : 190
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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radiocaf's favorite FMLs

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54518) - you deserved it (8925)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45666) - you deserved it (3292)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

#20876692
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53056) - you deserved it (11819)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by spiritbeast33 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49648) - you deserved it (19871)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48715) - you deserved it (17337)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

#20869348
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44983) - you deserved it (4524)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm - love - by single again - United States (California)

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

#20868590
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45994) - you deserved it (2406)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:02am - animals - by GotMyBitchBack - United States (Ohio)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
507 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17110) - you deserved it (123264)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40041) - you deserved it (6667)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40022) - you deserved it (2268)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

#20859311
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48861) - you deserved it (5153)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51497) - you deserved it (3709)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

#20857818
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47058) - you deserved it (8820)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

#20856552
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42693) - you deserved it (10358)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by crier - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

#20856532
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32671) - you deserved it (16848)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:13pm - health - by anditburnsburnsburns - United States (Virginia)



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