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radiocaf's favorite FMLs
Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML
by humiliated / 03/20/2016 at 7:54am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, a man kept talking and laughing like an idiot all through the movie I was watching. I thought he was high, so I called him a moron and told him to shut the hell up. It turned out he wasn't high. He was just "special". FML
by soembarassed / 03/18/2016 at 2:26pm / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Miscellaneous
by ANON / 03/18/2016 at 12:04pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by notgonnaeatthat / 03/17/2016 at 4:40pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Animals
Today, I had sex with a guy I really had a connection with. It went perfect until I complimented how his moans during sex turn me on a lot, and he responded with, "That's what my mom told me." I laughed so hard we couldn't go on. FML
by UnicornWaffles / 03/16/2016 at 1:23pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Intimacy
Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML
by Disgruntled / 03/16/2016 at 8:01am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by sick of this shit / 03/12/2016 at 8:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by no paedo / 03/11/2016 at 3:35pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Work
by billjoebob424 / 03/09/2016 at 7:01pm / Canada / Love
Today, at a family dinner, I found the courage to tell my husband's parents about my schizophrenia. They exchanged weird looks and then there was an uncomfortable silence. Then my father-in-law finally says, "Christ. The grandkids won't come out all nutty, right?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2016 at 1:54pm / United Kingdom (Cumbria) / Health
by Xandriajoy10 / 03/08/2016 at 6:56am / Australia / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/07/2016 at 2:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 17 year old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished she offered me one and it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML
by anonymous / 03/06/2016 at 12:33am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by b5b0n36 / 03/05/2016 at 9:38pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I finally did my laundry after a good few weeks, only to think another washer was a dryer. I just ran my clothes through the wash 3 times, because I was confused as to why they weren't drying. FML
by dumbAssCollegeStudent / 03/03/2016 at 7:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the…