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radiocaf's favorite FMLs
by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by dudster25 / 04/10/2016 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2016 at 9:12am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, I found out that my violent ex has moved to my country for the sole purpose of tracking me down. I know this because my former boss called and told me she gave him my address. She loves the idea of us getting back together because, "You are such a cute couple!" FML
by running scared / 04/08/2016 at 5:40am / Norway / Love
Today, nearing the end of my pregnancy, I went to a local pool. While attempting to swim on my stomach, I turned a little to the left, and buoyancy took over and I ended up belly-up and flailing, causing a very large man to then laugh so hard, he choked. FML
by ciammmm / 04/07/2016 at 8:23pm / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, I found out my mother drives my car. I was okay with it; I don't use it all the time and she's my mother. However, I was not okay with the multiple speeding tickets that came through in the post. "You're the registered keeper, so why should I pay?" FML
by NowBroke / 04/04/2016 at 5:38am / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Transportation
Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML
by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 4:21pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by momlife / 03/28/2016 at 4:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/28/2016 at 4:23pm / United States / Love
Today, I was hiding Easter eggs around the house when my 7-year-old triplets woke up from their nap and saw me. They quickly realized that I am the Easter Bunny, and then they guessed that I am Santa. Now I have 3 crying second graders. FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2016 at 5:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by Liz / 03/26/2016 at 3:26pm / United States (California) / Work
by joanikens / 03/26/2016 at 3:02pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by mommyopps / 03/25/2016 at 10:14pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by sorkin15 / 03/24/2016 at 5:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I received a letter from an eBay seller for whom I recently left an honest, negative review. I don't know what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn't ready for what spilled out coating my jeans, shoes, and brand new carpet: Glitter. FML
by okaydisarray / 03/22/2016 at 4:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous