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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML
I agree, your life sucks (1238) - you deserved it (194)
On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34268) - you deserved it (8551)
On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34323) - you deserved it (2162)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34371) - you deserved it (2565)
On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32256) - you deserved it (5497)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44564) - you deserved it (3325)
On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49528) - you deserved it (3036)
On 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41284) - you deserved it (7227)
On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54145) - you deserved it (3262)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35046) - you deserved it (17026)
On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States
Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67388) - you deserved it (4082)
On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49725) - you deserved it (5025)
On 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member and everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37400) - you deserved it (7490)
On 05/10/2013 at 12:44am - work - by legit247 - United States (Missouri)
Today, I decided I would try this feature on my banking app which lets me deposit checks by sending a picture of it. The instructions say to rip the check after depositing. The deposit didn't work and now I've got a ripped up paycheck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19930) - you deserved it (42479)
On 05/08/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by Checkless chick - United States
Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51444) - you deserved it (3525)
On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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