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  • Number of visits : 615
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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rackmill's page activity

Visits<b>meeeep8888</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 1:54am

rackmill's FML badges


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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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rackmill's favorite FMLs

Today, while making out in my car, the guy I was with decided it'd be a great idea to stick his tongue in my ear. He shoved it in so far that my ear still feels wet four hours later. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23317) - you deserved it (2774)

On 09/03/2015 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, while working security at my job, for the second time, a man with Down's Syndrome entered the store, went to one of the demo computers, opened YouTube, pulled up a video of oiled women wrestling and jerked off. There is no protocol in the handbook for how to deal with this scenario. FML

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31621) - you deserved it (4397)

On 07/19/2015 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, an old friend and I reconnected. Everything was going fine until he threatened to visit me at work. I didn't know he knew my place of employment, so I replied, "Do you know where I live too?" He answered, "Would you hate me if I did?" FML

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML


I agree, your life sucks (26181) - you deserved it (2327)

On 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm - kids - by hfs palm - United States

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34188) - you deserved it (7011)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30778) - you deserved it (2513)

On 02/17/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by whateven333 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24984) - you deserved it (15113)

On 02/05/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by gumchuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42851) - you deserved it (12967)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spent my afternoon rummaging through old jeans and other pants, due to being broke and needing cash for ramen. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38158) - you deserved it (4922)

On 08/01/2014 at 1:33am - money - by baconistasty27 - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45383) - you deserved it (4912)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:38am - misc - by lostintdot (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42219) - you deserved it (15156)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

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  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

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