racheljessie

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racheljessie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1961
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About racheljessie : I'm a theatre nerd who loves anime and Mel Brooks and Monty Python movies

racheljessie's page activity

Visits<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 8:59pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 1:13am<b>Ladisa</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 8:20am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 3:53am<b>ddietlin</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:46pm<b>Moanz</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 5:19am<b>burnsky</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 2:03pm<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 3:23am<b>dusthar</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 6:20pm<b>Trevell</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 7:51pm<b>cole_tyler42</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 4:30am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 3:23pm<b>Miooow</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 12:21pm<b>CassidyQueen98</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 5:27pm<b>tamannab97</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:42pm<b>Karennnx</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:04pm<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:11pm<b>abattior</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 4:40pm

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racheljessie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML

by ChickenBallsPlease / 01/28/2014 at 6:16am / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

by mystery / 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy

Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2013 at 2:18am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my sister introduced our parents to her new boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, and he told me he was going to be out of state for a few weeks on business. FML

by Alice99 / 11/12/2013 at 12:39pm / United States (Washington) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm / United Kingdom (Derry) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into a fight with my mother. Her idea of a birthday present to me is buying me a husband. Yes, buying. She told an asshat she found online about my trust fund, and now they're both trying to put together "the wedding of the millennium". She still doesn't understand why I'm mad. FML

Today, my little sister is having a friend spend the night. Our rooms are right next to one another and the walls are thin. We are now entering the fourth hour of a singing contest so off-key that it should be illegal. FML

by ThisIsAgony / 10/25/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML

by French / 10/24/2013 at 8:52am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

by haveahappyperiod / 10/04/2013 at 5:39am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

by Lilly / 10/02/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

by NestHead / 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Animals

Today, I was told there was a bench warrant out for my arrest because a notice to appear for jury duty was sent to my old address and I never responded. I haven't lived at my old address for 2 years. FML

by novapine / 10/01/2013 at 4:34am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 3:30am / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous