Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

racheljessie

Search for a member

racheljessie
  • Town/Country : Harrisburg, PA, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 April 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 612
  • Number of comments : 85
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About racheljessie : I'm a theatre nerd who loves anime and Mel Brooks and Monty Python movies

racheljessie's last visitors

dieselguyluebbeCMC_LOVES_MGMangelitaredTim2415castellucciochiefcloudrunnerZombielandddLilDELTAWHISKY

racheljessie's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of racheljessie's badges

racheljessie's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML

#20679582
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20030) - you deserved it (5056)

On 05/22/2013 at 10:51am - money - by maarkblack (man) - United States

Today, I e-mailed the on-line instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML

#20679441
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23420) - you deserved it (1393)

On 05/22/2013 at 8:28am - misc - by projectfain - United States (Ohio)

Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML

#20678725
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26342) - you deserved it (1472)

On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML

#20678467
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28718) - you deserved it (2887)

On 05/21/2013 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by knowtoomuch - United States (Colorado)

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

#20678301
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27739) - you deserved it (1673)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm - money - by LightsOut - United States (Florida)

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38488) - you deserved it (2955)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

#20673360
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36142) - you deserved it (4972)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39952) - you deserved it (5563)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML

#20672990
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34047) - you deserved it (2188)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML

#20669248
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35716) - you deserved it (9835)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member and everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML

#20653580
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37955) - you deserved it (7536)

On 05/10/2013 at 12:44am - work - by legit247 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

#20649270
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64085) - you deserved it (5330)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74659) - you deserved it (4349)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, I was berated by a pharmacist, who said that kids these days are on so many unnecessary medications for "fake diseases". I was just trying to pick up the medication I've been prescribed to control my epilepsy. FML

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53566) - you deserved it (7626)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: