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rachelbotke

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rachelbotke

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 519
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rachelbotke's page activity

Visits<b>StateChampBoy</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 4:07pm

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rachelbotke's favorite FMLs

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

#6793560
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11398) - you deserved it (22383)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada

Today, I called my boyfriend upset because my best friend has begun stripping to pay for school. His response was, "Where and what time does she work?" FML

#6765216
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25607) - you deserved it (7289)

On 12/15/2009 at 4:49pm - love - by notcool (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

#6716817
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33563) - you deserved it (5915)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:23am - love - by MarkTheShark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

#5228952
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37135) - you deserved it (3838)

On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I told my boyfriend of 2 years that I was pregnant. His response? "That's neat. But we can still have sex, right?" FML

#5222877
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20058) - you deserved it (4056)

On 09/13/2009 at 3:04am - intimacy - by sunlightchild_14 (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

#5198874
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38765) - you deserved it (4667)

On 09/12/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by taman (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking with my husband, holding hands, when a man with a rainbow shirt on came up to us. He said, "I'm so glad that gay men can go out in public without being embarassed nowdays!" He patted me on the back and walked away. I'm a woman. FML

#4823053
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47381) - you deserved it (5804)

On 08/25/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by offendedfemme (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my next door neighbor told me that he liked the carpet in my bedroom. I live alone. He's never been in my bedroom. FML

#4767628
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39123) - you deserved it (1956)

On 08/23/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by violatedinden (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML

#4662087
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47765) - you deserved it (6534)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by kneesarethenewdesk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

#4604892
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44313) - you deserved it (6224)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by JayBausch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML

#4380799
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43651) - you deserved it (2363)

On 08/08/2009 at 5:35am - animals - by N1ch0la1 (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63936) - you deserved it (14553)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15803) - you deserved it (66122)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

#3600725
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56080) - you deserved it (6804)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States

Today, I planned a romantic dinner with rose petals, the whole lot, for my ex-girlfriend to win her back. When I took her to my house I told her to guess what I had planned, to which she replied "I hope it's not a stupid romantic dinner with rose petals and shit." FML

#3331987
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49928) - you deserved it (12931)

On 06/29/2009 at 2:31am - love - by ipopnlok (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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