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rachelbotke

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rachelbotke

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  • Number of visits : 640
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rachelbotke's page activity

Visits<b>StateChampBoy</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 4:07pm

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rachelbotke's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the phone with my girlfriend. Just as she said "I love you", the credit on my phone runs out. She now thinks that I've purposely hung up on her. She refuses to speak to me until I tell her the real reason I hung up. FML

#13634091
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27130) - you deserved it (3396)

On 10/29/2010 at 12:48am - love - by lovegotmehung (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38050) - you deserved it (7991)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35858) - you deserved it (20926)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML

#12849732
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37459) - you deserved it (3892)

On 09/01/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Jill Shanks - United States

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26163) - you deserved it (17418)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

#11983627
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98196) - you deserved it (5656)

On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my kitten decided that having diarrhea was not a good enough reason to stop running in circles around my living room. FML

#11123342
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33793) - you deserved it (3693)

On 06/11/2010 at 10:33am - health - by MegahnDN - United States

Today, I saw a video of me from over the weekend, naked, pretending to be a duck. What the fuck happened that night? FML

#10748926
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17813) - you deserved it (52071)

On 05/25/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by laurenraeee - United States (Utah)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML

#10334392
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24761) - you deserved it (14541)

On 05/04/2010 at 3:33am - intimacy - by Rejection (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28980) - you deserved it (6517)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38680) - you deserved it (3412)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

#8001805
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28163) - you deserved it (8141)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

#7339757
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27320) - you deserved it (4940)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML

#7228897
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9714) - you deserved it (38024)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

#7143279
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36570) - you deserved it (2727)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)



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