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rachelbotke

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rachelbotke
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 469
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rachelbotke's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML

#16381910
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16317) - you deserved it (40298)

On 05/28/2011 at 1:27am - money - by greenhide8 - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my sister and I were eating at Wendy's. On the way out, I thought it would be funny to kick the door open and yell, "This is Sparta!" I lost my balance and fell flat on my butt. FML

#16359968
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7242) - you deserved it (57955)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:31pm - misc - by taydean - United States (Colorado)

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

#16342840
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43116) - you deserved it (4595)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Brilliant... (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I found out that whenever I send my son to his room, he goes on his iPod and buys the most expensive apps he can find. So far I've been charged $600. FML

#16332593
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19105) - you deserved it (45205)

On 05/24/2011 at 8:02pm - kids - by StupidApple -

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66059) - you deserved it (3342)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

#16287224
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39726) - you deserved it (5390)

On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML

#16271317
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32383) - you deserved it (4486)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:33pm - misc - by SophieGray - United States (New York)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a well thought out, steamy, and sexy sext message. His reply? "Three bidders for my drums on eBay! Makiiin' Monaaaay!" FML

#16259164
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28053) - you deserved it (5823)

On 05/19/2011 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by rileycrash (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (19667)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I threw a surprise birthday party for my 3 year old. There was music, snacks and lots of toys. My 3 year old is a cat. FML

#16231154
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10827) - you deserved it (34880)

On 05/17/2011 at 11:04pm - animals - by kaileigh10 -

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59359) - you deserved it (9353)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

#16166578
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35820) - you deserved it (4155)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States

Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developed a boner, and started french-kissing the air. I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes and a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath. FML

#16161351
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32254) - you deserved it (7684)

On 05/13/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by f*cks_sake - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom said she wanted me to get laser eye surgery before she did, "Just in case it isn't safe." FML

#16158783
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28863) - you deserved it (1969)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:18pm - health - by samadams42 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

#16154478
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31059) - you deserved it (14022)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:20am - kids - by eenkoekje -



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