Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rachel13

Search for a member

rachel13

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 59662
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

rachel13's page activity

Visits<b>cheernomore15</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 9:51pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:07pm<b>Trooth</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 11:50am<b>kofinater</b> - the 09/19/2010 at 6:24pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/04/2009 at 6:18am<b>mphsgrl</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 9:29pm<b>CowsSayMoo</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 2:50am<b>chinesechicken</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 1:59pm<b>td32</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 1:18pm<b>morenap</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 2:22am<b>edhcutie24</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 5:13pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 4:50pm<b>BillyAdict</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 3:32pm<b>assman266</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 3:00pm<b>markjbon</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 2:24pm<b>bigmad50</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 9:24pm<b>lsutiget1999</b> - the 05/07/2009 at 2:10pm<b>iluvpink02</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 6:53pm

rachel13's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

rachel13's favorite FMLs

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17135) - you deserved it (68367)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, my boss told me he is a superhero. He has written countless comics about his crusades and adventures. I make fifty dollars an hour less than him. FML

#3494864
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36351) - you deserved it (3767)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:53am - money - by iloveZELOS (woman) - United States

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78003) - you deserved it (21849)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82231) - you deserved it (218524)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20873) - you deserved it (219570)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was accepted to Harvard's law program. Prestigious right? After hearing the good news the only thing my parents talked about over dinner was who they wanted to win American Idol: Adam, Kris or Danny. FML

#1916731
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52531) - you deserved it (4599)

On 05/13/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by NoComparison (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

Today, I took my mom out to a fancy restaurant, and spent close to $300 on her Mother's Day present. Later, my little brother drew her a card with crayons on pink construction paper. She cried. He is 20 years old. FML

#1818781
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58702) - you deserved it (5691)

On 05/10/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by Jess-zee (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76710) - you deserved it (23376)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

#1250407
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52815) - you deserved it (10039)

On 04/23/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (473233) - you deserved it (29134)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

#1026397
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26652) - you deserved it (79575)

On 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Eyesore - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

#915764
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (163164) - you deserved it (8278)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: