rachel13

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rachel13

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 60262
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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rachel13's page activity

Visits<b>sikanderkhan</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 12:14am<b>cheernomore15</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 9:51pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 2:07pm<b>Trooth</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 11:50am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:55am<b>kofinater</b> - the 09/19/2010 at 6:24pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/04/2009 at 6:18am<b>mphsgrl</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 9:29pm<b>CowsSayMoo</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 2:50am<b>chinesechicken</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 1:59pm<b>td32</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 1:18pm<b>morenap</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 2:22am<b>edhcutie24</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 5:13pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 4:50pm<b>BillyAdict</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 3:32pm<b>assman266</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 3:00pm<b>markjbon</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 2:24pm<b>bigmad50</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 9:24pm

rachel13's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

rachel13's favorite FMLs

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

by MitchFail / 07/23/2009 at 2:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boss told me he is a superhero. He has written countless comics about his crusades and adventures. I make fifty dollars an hour less than him. FML

by iloveZELOS / 07/05/2009 at 12:53am / United States / Money

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

by apav / 06/11/2009 at 7:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was accepted to Harvard's law program. Prestigious right? After hearing the good news the only thing my parents talked about over dinner was who they wanted to win American Idol: Adam, Kris or Danny. FML

by NoComparison / 05/13/2009 at 8:59pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

by Rech / 05/12/2009 at 7:09am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took my mom out to a fancy restaurant, and spent close to $300 on her Mother's Day present. Later, my little brother drew her a card with crayons on pink construction paper. She cried. He is 20 years old. FML

by Jess-zee / 05/10/2009 at 4:42pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Kids

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised I punched my mom in the face when she screamed SURPRISE! FML

by Em / 04/30/2009 at 12:45pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

by DBR / 04/23/2009 at 6:45am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

by Litterbox / 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Texas) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

by Eyesore / 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

by hedgehog5 / 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous