Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

qwaszxwesdxc

Search for a member

qwaszxwesdxc

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1108
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

qwaszxwesdxc's page activity

Visits<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 6:42pm<b>barakados</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 6:02pm

qwaszxwesdxc's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

qwaszxwesdxc's favorite FMLs

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

#16966057
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38863) - you deserved it (5572)

On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)

Today, I couldn't figure out what was worse: accidentally dropping my car keys into the bottom of a filthy park lake, or getting a fishhook through my toenail in an attempt to retrieve them. FML

#16888373
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34606) - you deserved it (4503)

On 06/27/2011 at 10:10pm - misc - by Courtney (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss contacted me to come in for a quick meeting. I drove 30 minutes to get to work only to find out she was firing me and wanted my key card back. FML

#16321332
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27780) - you deserved it (2550)

On 05/23/2011 at 11:19pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to sell my wedding ring to help me pay for my divorce. FML

#16106776
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40078) - you deserved it (11787)

On 05/09/2011 at 5:12pm - money - by loser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48740) - you deserved it (8014)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a rave where apparently one of my favorite rappers was supposed to perform. I stood in line for 2 hours in the rain, got pushed and shoved, and had to witness a bunch of drunken idiots puke all over the place. Once I finally got to the front of the line, they closed the doors. FML

#15214634
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30663) - you deserved it (6061)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:25am - misc - by bullllllshittttt (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to babysit two kids. I told them to stop fighting, or to sit on separate couches. They stopped. I asked why nobody would sit on the other couch, where I'd been sitting. They told me it was the couch their autistic brother often pees on. FML

#14792187
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27193) - you deserved it (3064)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:11pm - misc - by joxerthemighty39 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

#14689182
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35091) - you deserved it (6450)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML

#14598799
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16214) - you deserved it (62878)

On 01/16/2011 at 5:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while registering at the grocery store, a customer came into my lane with a 100 piece boiled shrimp platter. Feeling hungry, I muttered "nom nom" under my breath. The old man called my supervisor. Apparently I called him a moron. FML

#14266887
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13342) - you deserved it (25922)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:02am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML

#13774014
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34654) - you deserved it (3477)

On 11/09/2010 at 2:51am - intimacy - by secretdoll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

#13541967
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29630) - you deserved it (4507)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37438) - you deserved it (3489)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

#13291298
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27233) - you deserved it (3860)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML

#13259037
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29657) - you deserved it (2353)

On 09/30/2010 at 1:11am - misc - by Bestfrienduncool - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: